Posted: 2017-10-12 23:51
Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks". For instance, I go to a drum circle (the only one within 85 miles of me). Of available women who show up (a few unavailable do), it is pretty much just one in her 85s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason. I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play.
I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn''t have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It''s a lie that there''s someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn''t be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.
I am Ms Jones. I messaged MANY men first. I am beautiful, kind and intelligent. I used the dating site in every way possible. It is not accurate to say that all women get tons of fabulous messages and wonderful invitations from countless fabulous men. There are lots of sketchy guys out the there. After 8 years, for my own protection and peace of mind, I felt it was best that I remove my profile. That''s how many "super great" guys I connected with. They were all very strange and I am reluctant to try Internet dating ever again. It was a very stressful experience sharing information with perfect strangers from the Internet. My personal dating experiences were not great and one in particular was disturbing.
Eric: It&rsquo s not. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I&rsquo m really like. No dice. Sure, I get a lot of profile &ldquo views&rdquo , but no messages. I&rsquo ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry.
Im tall athletic handsome smart active dont smoke dont do drugs have a Masters degree..none of that matters...women (all of them) are looking for a nest egg and retirement plan regardless of what they say...they ALL want to be wined and dined and jetsetted all over the world. American women are a mans worst nitemare oh yea..ive heard and seen it all. I try to be cool and ask about hobbies and their interests they just play dumb childish games..I hate women now I loathe and despise them..what a waste of tiime and energy online dating is lmao!!!
Asking women to give you a chance and message you back after looking at your message and profile is like women asking you to message and reach out whenyou have zero attraction, nothing in common and zero interest in taking to. It goes both ways. Just because you''re intrested and they aren''t doesn''t mean they want bad boys and smooth talkers. Men you don''t reach out to women you''re not attracted to, don''t except women to make the exceptions lol. Dumb.
Online dating is very unhealthy for society. Most of my buddies try online dating and the only ones who get dates are the guys who are smooth talkers and then will literally have sex in a bar bathroom with a new girl they just met while they already have a girlfriend. The nice guys get overlooked ALWAYS. Even if the nice guy looks half decent. Girls end up thinking every guy wants them inflating their ego to an unrealistic level. And ultimately they gravitate to a smooth talker who is out of their league for long term dating then they feel there are no good men. Good Men SHOULD NOT date online or they will feel unwanted and ultimately need mental help. Women should not date online because they will set they can''t differentiate between good guys and bad players. There is some success but it seems far to much work for a man to get success.
Yeah, online dating sucks. I''m a good looking guy (not trying to sound conceited - but it''s a salient point in this context), and I have NO success on the sites. I often get hit on when I go out with my friends, to the point that it''s actually a running joke. Yet no girls - I mean none - respond to my messages on dating sites. And my messages are absolutely fine. Never creepy. I''ll often ask how their weekend was, or ask about something specific on their profile, etc. Totally normal stuff - yet - responses. It''s madness. I agree with the guy in the article - if I didn''t have the success I have with women in real life, I''d probably have developed a complex by now. My advice to men is to not even try online dating until you''ve been on the dating scene for several years and you have an idea of your actual worth. Otherwise, if you have no idea and you base it off of online dating, you''re 655% guaranteed to think you''re ugly, undesirable, don''t know how to talk to women, etc.
Now the reason i am writing all this is because i see a lot of these posts and they are very one-sided. i am not excusing men at all and i completely agree that they are douchers, but no one is examining the other side and why exactly this may be (other than some twisted sense of privilege). There are a lot of non-assholes out there, but they are not getting anywhere and there are a lot of nice women out there who are getting somewhere, but not at all what they wanted (if that makes sense).
I never go for 9"s, or 65''s. Usually, they have issues. They know their "hot". I, one time met a above average looking woman and she ended up being a compulsive liar and had other issues. Another one used guys for their money. I''m older 56 and go never go for any women below 99. It appears that you women want tall, dark, handsome CEO types of men, or looking for Brad Pitts''s of the world needs to get realistic. Also, I notice the shorter the woman are like 5''5" are wanting these 5''8 tall or taller guys to feel "protected" are overlooking us shorter guys who can make them feel secure and protected. I was a successful wrestler and coach. And can provide that.
If you are fortunate enough to enter into a dialogue with a woman on one of these dating sites, actually take the time to carefully develop your words so they really express who you are as a person and what you''re looking for in a partner. Use humor too -- this isn''t a job interview for Pete''s sake. But at the same time don''t use inappropriate humor -- be cute, but not an idiot. Focus on emotional words -- express how you''re feeling about things at the moment. Are you an uncle? Did you just spend your weekend playing with your nieces and nephews and miss them already? Mention that. Are you anxious about something in your life? Excited? Sad? Talk about it -- the more emotion you show to the woman you''re chatting with, the more she''ll be able to gauge what kind of man you really are.
This is bad business practice if as an owner of one of these sites you to hope to gain long term member retention. I personally have called out one site in particular on this when having joined as free member, I was bombarded with messages I could only gain access to by joining. Upon joining as a 6 month member it was very apparent that these members were fake profiles. The website was contacted and after a generic 8766 we adhere to international business practices 8767 bullshit reply from them, I again asked to them to respond by answering the issue concerned, and not surprisingly I got no response.
On Richard''s comment to guys about looking at other guys profiles, that only works to a certain extent or based on luck too. It''s more about seeing other profile examples to see what might work or not work for you. But one would never know how well the other guys profiles are unless you happen to be or become friends with them to find out. So in the end you try out things and see how it goes in that regards to seeing other guys profiles.
I became so weary of these half hearted advances and men who could not follow through, I just gave up. Why should I put out so much personal information about myself on the Internet for a bunch of really half hearted losers who were too cheap to even pay for a drink, and if they did, they felt it gave them license to grab me or shove their tongue downy throat on the first date? These men had no dating etiquette at all.
It has become clear to me with the passing of the years that my knowledge and understanding are very limited much to my own consternation. However I will do my best to explain the situation as I see it. My answer will likely seem off topic and possibly confusing. Unfortunately the real issue, as is almost always the case with problems we are facing today, exists far beyond the usual scope of answers proffered.
I like your described family routine (and especially approve the part where the wife sleeps in on Saturday lol) but this is taking it to the extreme. We as humans do not exist solely to eat and reproduce (which is essentially what you 8767 re trying to boil it down to). There needs to be room for aspirations and goals. Personally I would rather spend 65 hours a week with an exciting partner than 95 hours with a partner whose interest do not go beyond kids soccer practice and stuffing his face with pizza.
On rare occasions someone has shown a willingness to write something unique. A rare individual that is capable of thinking for themselves and doesn''t feel the need to be a carbon copy of what society tells us are our desirable traits. Of the hundreds of profiles I''ve viewed this past few years I have come across a handful (less than 65 and closer to 5) of women that stand apart from the crowd. That is a very desirable trait in my search.
I not at all surprised by the admission from Rob above regarding the ethical management of his member database perhaps being the cause of the demise of his site. He obviously also spent enough time in R& D of when launching the site to know of 8766 Phantom 8767 and inactive members in the databases of other sites. I can tell you from my experience that the practice of inflating the female database with 8766 fake 8767 is widespread on numerous sites as I stated above.
My experiences with pof haven''t been great, but not as horrific as bpm. I did encounter two stalker types, but it was when I first joined and listed my profile in the small town that I''m in. Both guys seemed to have some sort of mental instability, the first being the worst and a potential Ike Turner waiting to happen. Met him once and during the date he seemed okay, a bit shy at first, but he started to open up. By the end of the date he asked me out again for that weekend and I accepted.
The same pigs have shown up on all of the dating apps I have used. I originally started with plenty of fish, where I met two very good long-term friends, but no romantic chemistry. The majority of the other users were soliciting inappropriate photos and sending them as well. A few mentally unstable messages followed rejections. There are just as many people looking for hook ups on as there are on OkCupid and bumble. Disappointing as to what society has become.