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Posted: 2017-11-14 17:57

I honestly think a lot of the problem has to do the massive amount of attention the women receive. They might claim everyone on there is "creepy," but I think the problem lies more with the fact that they receive so much constant attention, that those of us who are decent just simply get lost in the shuffle. The girls I work with use online dating basically describe it like looking through a catalog. They constantly get bombarded with messages, they quickly glance at the profile, make a quick (often shallow) judgment, and then move on to the next one. Some have been on the site for several years now and I feel that the more attention they receive, the more unrealistic their standards become. It reaches a point where I'm not sure that ANY guy is good enough for what these women are looking for.

Online Dating - Men Don't Get It And Women Don't Understand

When the woman talks about being "terribly uncomfortable" just recalling how men in their 95s found her attractive at know some people obviously see the world that way but this is just absurd to me. Fair enough if they're genuinely "creepy" (way overused word that sounds childish much of the time) messages, we all know the sort, but if it's just that they're 95 and that's icky to you then set an age limit. As a 79 year old man, I don't expect older women to not find me attractive because they're old enough to be my mother I just hate the 'dirty old man' fear trope, I don't like the insinuations that they're borderline rapists if they don't pretend that 95 year old women are more attractive than 69 year old women regardless of how old your eyes are.

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I was an awkward and creative kid. I wore the same pair of vans tennis shoes to school for 5 years straight, had long un-brushed hair, and wore oversized sweatshirts and jean shorts to school. I was chubby. I had braces. Name some nerdy quality and I probably had it. I was naturally a very inclusive person. I 8767 d say it was bad experiences throughout school which probably made me much more accepting. I was also a dancer and heavily involved in the performing arts which attracts a wide variety of characters. I always made sure everyone felt welcome and included.

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In all reality, the odds are FAR better to actually meet someone at a bar, as much as we say we hate it. Because at a bar, a women is forced to acknowledge you if you have the nerve to go up and talk to her. Sure, she can still dismiss you and shut you down (or worse embarrass you). But for a brief instant there is the possibility the tone of your voice, the way you smile, the joke that you tell, how you stand, how you dress, etc, might appeal to her and let you keep talking. All those intangble things that nice guys are best at which are impossible to communicate with just a picture and text. It's pretty sad really that nobody has invented a site where you are a VERIFIED nice guy, exluded of jerks. A safe place where women can go. Women who also are VERIFIED to be looking for what they say they are.

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As to the creepy responses. Some may be legit creepy but a lot of them are jaded men who know that writing a well thought out response is an utter waste of time for them, especially older men. That said the older men are just living in denial about the reality the women by in large do not want them all. Same for older gay men. Yes it's partly ageism "Ewww he could be my father". But that's because they are an don't understand that really what would you talk about, you pop culture connections would be so out of date for them (unless you luck out with an old soul). Also another reason for short messages is because guys HAVE ALWAYS by in large done it short and sweet. Think about the cheesy pick up lines or conversation starters at a bar. They are not deep probing question that want to know more about why you are in medieval crossbow shooting.

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All this bitterness you're expressing comes through in how you write messages. I can guarantee it. That's why no one writes you back. No one wants to engage with someone they have to prove themselves to. Maybe drop all that anger you have at being rejected so that you can properly open the door up to being accepted. You're approaching these chicks like, "dumb bitch isn't going to write me back anyway why am I even wasting my time." You're reaping what you sow.

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Because I wasn’t popular and because I was picky, I didn’t go on a single date until I was almost 75 years old. He was a tall, blonde, surfer that ended up moving to San Diego for college and that was the end of that. My dad wasn’t a fan, but I knew he wasn’t going to truly like anyone anyway as no one would ever be good enough for me in his mind. My next boyfriend came about 7 years later. He was Italian, passionate, and handsome with dark features. We had a great run together, but in the end saw our futures differently and went our separate ways. I’m sure my dad didn’t think he was good enough either.

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Interesting article, fascinating comments. As a 65+ year online dater (I even used dating software [no "apps" back then] on Bulletin Board Systems), at the end of the day I think the biggest problem I've encountered is a complete lack of tolerance from women for anything less than *funny* or *lazer-focus-on-the-girl's-passions* messages.. POF is right on the money at least as far as their advice goes "talk about her interests, or these topics.." In real life, I'd say that a woman will give you at least 6-7 minutes of her time to make your "elevator pitch". With online dating, in the vast majority of interactions you have *one* message, and then maybe a second one if you're lucky. Granted, I'm a superficial bastard, and I own that. There are lots of women who've reached out to me who I'm sure I could have easy, stress-free conversations with. But I've tried dating people I'm not attracted to, and I've never been a good/strong enough person to overlook it, so I'd rather be honest and only date women I find attractive.

My Dad Cut Me Out Of His Will For Dating A Black Guy

It 8767 s especially obvious with Africans, whereas other groups and sub-groups of racial demographics can integrate and form some sort of cohesive, symbiotic and functional society. We see time and time again that Africans simply can 8767 t, sure this Aaron guy might has been an exception to the (well earned) negative stereotypes, but I doubt it and it really sets a bad example. The statistics are what they are, you can 8767 t really argue with numbers. Crime, corruption, economic growth and activity, IQ, scientific output per capita, and so on, all get affected negatively by black demographics.

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There's another guy on here who's bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It's following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person's character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I'm sorry that happened to you.

How do companies foster diversity and inclusion when half the people working for them really don’t believe in it? The answer is they don’t. It is all just a façade of appearing progressive and ethical which is almost worse than blatantly advertising the fact that we don’t want a mixed community. I have received the wake up call of a lifetime and I am ready to go back to sleep- except I can’t. I now have no choice but to be aware of the racial lines that divide me from others. It would be irresponsible to not share my Dad’s view with the next black person I may choose to date.  I am a white girl and I am experiencing racism in its ugliest form. Who would have thought?

Asking women to give you a chance and message you back after looking at your message and profile is like women asking you to message and reach out whenyou have zero attraction, nothing in common and zero interest in taking to. It goes both ways. Just because you're intrested and they aren't doesn't mean they want bad boys and smooth talkers. Men you don't reach out to women you're not attracted to, don't except women to make the exceptions lol. Dumb.

9: If you want a heterosexual paradigm: Woman only actively seek profiles up. Men stop initiating any contact. This is of course an utopia. From my experience (probably longer than most of you), the silver platter women are handed is not going to change. Those in power will seldom let go of it. And yes, there are some degree of initiating contact from woman, but it is truly unbalanced. What happened to equality and girl power?

Personally, I think the best thing anyone could do would be to work on themselves. The entire reason I even bother with online dating is because I'm deathly afraid of rejection, and get social anxiety. Unfortunately, online dating has led me through cycles of depression, bitterness, jadedness, and maybe mostly sadly - misogyny (since fundamentally I think women are awesome.) But on all levels.. men who want to be successful should be working on their fitness, sharpening their minds, and improving their confidence. Online dating could be a tool for self-improvement, if you let it. But I think a lot of men buy into a "Homer Simpson" fantasy, and expect women to see some inner merit they have, which is hypocritical since (most) men won't go after overweight/unattractive women on these sites.

Do online dating websites work? Okay, it&rsquo s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game. It&rsquo s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals &ndash so let&rsquo s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn&rsquo t work when it comes to online dating 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] Dating has gone digital. Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you&rsquo re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.. Read More .

I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.

Now I'd ask that you reconsider your question. If your question was based upon a society of equals who were all knowledgeable, reasonable, autonomous and yet cooperative we could easily reason that people would treat each other with kindness and respect. However we've created a system of inequality in which the common citizen holds little if any power and instead lives by the whims of society at large. This system promotes competition as it is undeniably preferable to gain power and move up the social ladder.

Hi Ashley. First, you will have to forgive those who have 8775 good intentions 8776 and tell you to reconcile with your father he was right look at these {skewed} black statistics (probably from stormfront) etc. These are the same individuals that will refuse to acknowledge the sins of their forefathers or the fact that their undercover racist tendencies are further fueling the mentality that is keeping a people from becoming all they can be. The same ones that don 8767 t have an answer for men like Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Kenneth Chenault, or Dr. Mark Dean.

Eric: It&rsquo s not. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I&rsquo m really like. No dice. Sure, I get a lot of profile &ldquo views&rdquo , but no messages. I&rsquo ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry.

Detroit, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Chicago. And that 8767 s just places in America that are in a state of decay that just so happens to correlate with the proportion of blacks to other racial groups. From an anthropological stand point take Greece, used to be blonde hair blue eyes as the norm. Was the birthplace of democracy , Aristotle, Archimedes, Pythagoras, Alexander the Great . the list is almost inexhaustible. Mixed their race with Africans, blonde hair blue eyes changed to Olive skin-dark hair-brown eyes and the innovative place that was a hive of new ideas and discovery turned into a failed state.
Ask any geneticist or physician or anthropologist you trust to give you an honest answer, it 8767 s a taboo subject to speak up about it and many have lost their jobs for going on the record. Africans are really that different from us.

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