Posted: 2017-11-14 14:02
Internet dating may suck for men, but from talking to my sister it seems far worse for women. Sure, you get messages, but most of them are one-line demands for sex, rude or abusive, or just weird. I ve received very few messages on OKC (none in my geographic or age range, either) and never had any replies to my messages, but at least all the messages I got were polite and interesting. It is a little offputting when someone just stops messaging for no apparent reason, but if you re playing the numbers game I suppose you just shrug and move on, or if it weirds you out too much, quit online dating and try something else.
Since you seem wedded to your narrative, though, I have a handy case study. A guy who sends messages of the sort that messages that compose most of your average girls inbox, and a female telling him why it s a bad message even though he isn t asking for a quick blowie. My goal is for that to be the usual level of advice given, instead of focusing too much on the extreme bad cases.
If you want to get across that you like many kinds of music, you could name a few favourite bands from different genres, or talk about songs you tend to play over and over, or about some great live music event you once saw. Talking about specific things you like not only helps give the people reading your profile more information it also tends to bring out enthusiasm in the person writing that just saying, I like music! doesn t. And enthusiasm is attractive!
I''ve yet to find a real dating site. What is missing from all these sites is the social aspect. almost has it. They have their "events", but they are few and far apart. A dating site should be where people.. wait for it.. TALK. interact, have people exchange their opinions and see if they are compatible. Hell, even have them play some games together as ice breakers. Instead of have this computer assume that just because you like Rock n Roll and she likes Jazz that you can''t be together. We are a complex creature, we want to be challenged. We want to learn and get new experiences. Maybe he will love Jazz, maybe she''ll love Rock. Maybe they will never love each other''s music, but they will love each other because of their deep secret love for Captain Crunch cereal! However, without trying, or interacting, we will not know. Is there a risk? Of course, there is a risk at love. But, all good things come with a bit of risk after all. The faster people accept this, the faster you will find what you are looking for.
Maybe the idea is that men aren 8767 t supposed to be more attracted to the types of bodies that, because of 8775 socially constructed 8776 desire, they tend to be attracted to. Or that men ideally are not supposed to be attracted to bodies in the first place but, rather, to personalities or some non-physical essence. Or that various men are supposed to be attracted to various body types, with no dominant patterns of attraction, such that whatever body types are out there, a proportionate number of men will happen to find those female bodies attractive. All women could then have the love they need and they wouldn 8767 t have to 8775 settle 8776 in order to get it.
Anonymous, Church can be a very lonely place for a lot of people. The married woman who comes alone or with an unbelieving husband is lonely. (There 8767 s actually a term for her: 8775 spiritually single. 8776 ) The woman in a blended family feels lonely because she 8767 s trying to figure things out amidst so many traditional families. You 8767 re not alone in feeling alone. It 8767 s a universal problem. It 8767 s not only because you are single.
Negative approach you are always looking for why things won t work. You measure the cost of everything. The energy required, the trouble it will take, the difficulties involved, the pointlessness of the exercise. Everything seems like a waste of time. You only want to do something if you are sure things will work out. You avoid anything that could possibly lead to failure. You think everything is really hard, difficult and the nothing seems to be worth the effort involved. Houllebecq has whole books written on this way of looking at the world.
I don t think it s about absolving women of responsibility and saying that they shouldn t take risks it s more about recognizing why they don t take risks. The Doc generally encourages everyone, men and women, to overcome their insecurities and make their move. It s still valuable to understand what other people may be thinking or feeling, and why they might chose particular actions.
Yeah, this seems pretty spot on. For women its a barrage of messages and makes them think thery''re god''s on Earth, no matter how ugly. For men it''s a quiet hole to realize women are a lot more shallow than they knew, no matter how attractive. This makes the women bat way above their league and the men bat way below. The best part to illustrate this? I''d say all of the women I message first are at least around my physical attractiveness league, but all the women that message me first are way, waaaay below it. Like obese chicks levels below it.
In the long run, God 8767 s presence makes up for EVERYTHING! 8775 He is sufficient. 8776 Does that mean I 8767 m not lonely? That I don 8767 t feel the pain, isolation, loss, or emptiness? No! I feel all those things, and I even question God with them. But as a loving Father, His chastisement is 8775 where were you when I formed the Earth from nothingness? 8776 Our entire purpose on Earth is to glorify HIM. That He gives us any blessings at all let alone salvation from our sinful nature is His prerogative because HE IS GOD. But wanting what the Jones 8767 s have, be it a marriage or a new car, is simple covetousness and jealousy.
You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there''s just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don''t tickle their libido so we get ignored.
Jenn, you can spout that until you are blue in the face. I assure your opinion may in fact be the majority, but who cares. I know for a fact that there are many women who PREFER older guys. You don 8767 t have to believe that and in your small corner of the world, the women may think it 8767 s creepy, but that doesn 8767 t matter. If a man prefers women, he only needs to find one who will fall in love with him, and I assure you that it DOES happen.
8. It 8767 s out of your control. There are some things that are in your control like choosing not to listen to people who make annoying single comments to you but there are other things that are not. Like the big one: when you 8767 ll meet the right person for you. It could be five minutes or five years. The sooner that you accept that you cannot control that, the easier your life will be. It will allow you to focus on what 8767 s really important: enjoying your life and being the best person you can be singled or coupled.
Lmfao girls have got it easy stop acting offended by guys sleezy messages you can just delete it and block the person if you want dont take it personally the creeps will be messaging all of the girls the same. then you can use your common sense and intuition to work out who the good guys are. Im a really good looking guy i have been on pof dating site for 7 years and not had one message from any girl i would be even slightly interested in
My experience is the opposite of what you describe. I 8767 ve had many friends and coworkers over the years complain that guys on dating sites who contact them are way too old. Far too many guys who are 65, 65, or even 75+ years older than me have contacted me as well. I never said that women don 8767 t fall for or chase much older guys. What I am saying is that yes, in the majority of cases, it is the men who are chasing after the with little bags of candy. When I 8767 m 95, I will likely be most attracted to other 95-somethings. When I 8767 m 55, same thing. That 8767 s how most women are. Their preferences grow with them, whereas men 8767 s preferences skew considerably as they age, even if they do still largely stick to their own age range. Don 8767 t believe me? Check out that good ol 8767 OkCupid study that everyone loves to quote. The data speaks for itself.
I agree however that the tone does not have to be harsh. I agree that this women is going to have it rough and following your example may be her best bet, because I am not sure she is going to be willing to accept that she can 8767 t have it all. Most women seem to bristly at that notion the notion of having to settle, and so long as she sees it as settling, it won 8767 t be very appealing to her. She will need a paradigm shift a change from finding the 8775 hot 8776 guys sexy, to finding the stable, unselfish guys as sexy, even of they don 8767 t have the pretty faces and hot bodies.
Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. It’s done.
If you 8767 re like me, you may be saying, 8775 I 8767 m empty. I don 8767 t know where to get the faith. 8776 I 8767 ve been there. Here 8767 s the Bible verse that directed my heart when I admitted that to God, 8775 Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. 8776 Get into the Word of God. In every way you can. In a men 8767 s accountability group, bible study. In personal reflection time. In a Bible teaching Church. GET IN THE WORD! That 8767 s where the faith will bud and that 8767 s where reward will begin.
Is the guy being 8775 hot 8776 all important? Women claim that all of these other things are important, and yet as I have always said, for many women, not all, but for many women, it isn 8767 t that looks aren 8767 t just as important as they are for men, but that they simply have even more requirements. For instance, if the woman is a 9 and she would never consider going below an 8, it doesn 8767 t matter if he has all these other great qualities. She 8767 s not going to settle for a 6 or 7. She wants the 8, 9 or 65, who also has all these other great qualities.
Any 8775 hot guy 8776 who settles for her is giving up far more than she would be giving up if she settles for a not quite so hot guy. Even the not so hot guy would be giving up a lot.
I am a 95 year old woman with 9 teenage boys. I was married for almost 68 years and we divorced. I started dating a guy in his 55 8767 s with no kids, never been married, didn 8767 t want to ever be married and was totally selfish. Well, I wanted to be married again. We dated for 7 years, but then he ended it. I think it was because I had too many obligations. Like you, I could take care of myself and my kids, plus their father was apart of their lives.