Posted: 2017-09-11 18:44
My husband was a single dad who fought hard and is still fighting to get equal rights. He has two kids and never got married (even though he tried numerous times), so Florida law favors the mother in such a case. My husband is there for the kids and I love the kids as though they came from me and they know how I feel so much that they call me mommy (bm hates this by the way but that 8767 s an entire new article).
Also, sounds like maybe your Man -Picking skills are off. (Like SO many women you 8767 re not alone!) I Hope you consider taking my next course: Fix Your Man Picker. You will know exactly how to decide if a man has good partner potential and when he doesn 8767 t at the beginning and throughout. No more wasting time and your emotional energy on men who won 8767 t make you (believe it or not) I 8776 m going to teach you how to choose with your grownup smarts.
Hi Single dad, My heart goes out to you, because this is a tricky one. Let me preface my response by saying this is just my opinion and not meant to be any type of professional advise. I realize everyone operates from a different value system and have varied philosophy about child-rearing, so I don 8767 t expect, neither am I looking for agreement. This is how I actually raised two men successfully, as a single mom.
It makes complete sense, but with age comes wisdom. I see now that a single parent willing to take on the responsibility of loving and caring for a doing it well, is a huge precursor for someone willing to do the same for you. A person without kids is a shell game. You don 8767 t know what you are getting. Kids change marriages. How many marriages fail after kids? Like clockwork. I wish I had kids with my girlfriend. We both had kids from previous marriages and are both good parents and are both sane. Unfortunately we met crazy partners who were both controlling and had us fooled. Have kids with them and you are more trapped than ever. For those looking to start that path walking hand in hand, realize it is russian roulette. Find a good single parent male or female gives you insight that a single person without kids will never give you.
One is simply “Go West, woman.” Move yourself into man-heavy tech enclaves, like Silicon Valley. California, Colorado, and Washington tend to be states with gender ratios friendlier to women. In Santa Clara County among the 75-79 age group, there are 88 percent more single men than women and 98 percent more single men than women in the 85-89 group, The county tends to have fewer divorces, too—another upshot of men being scarce.
I 8767 m sorry you 8767 re so hurt and lonely. I 8767 m sorry life made such a mess of you. As you said yourself, hurt people hurt people and you are hurting a lot of people by being so judgemental without seeing you yourself are guilty of the exact same thing. Everybody has a choice. Everybody has valid reasons for their choice. People with narcissism issues have children too and people that are very selfless and caring sometimes chosse not to. Simply choosing to become parents like we did/do does not make us better people. It only means we want something different from life and we won 8767 t be a good fit with the child free people of the world.
When single dads call childless selfish what they really mean is 8775 she 8767 s selfish because she doesn 8767 t want to help support or babysit my kids 8776 . Been there, done that, I 8767 ve even been called selfish because I resented going on dates to McDonalds because that 8767 s all he could afford. I 8767 m no gold digger but it gets old fast if the new girlfriend only gets McDonalds while the ex was pursued by taking her to nice restaurants,
If you think a single dude without kids doesn 8767 t have baggage you are fooling yourself. Everyone has baggage. It is how that person deals with the baggage that is important. At least a single father is not shirking responsibilities and facing challenges head on. Who knows if that dude without kids would do the same in a similar situation. Seems crazy to me, but personal choice is the name of the game.
I have had single fathers wanting me to jump in to play mommy and some that didn 8767 t obviously I never tried to date when I was raising my two children alone due to the problems that may or may not have arisen as a result of introducing a guy into my children 8767 s lives. Now my two are grown and gone i do not want to even think about anymore children from any direction NO single fathers thanks I have been on my own without help from any man so while I do feel that if a man can raise his children on his own and try to date more power to him however I have found that men I did date expected me to be there for them and their children totally giving them all my time and some weren 8767 t as demanding. All I can say is that it takes all kinds there are some good guys out there that just happen to have children but I will always avoid them because I am not looking to be a step mother to anyone 8767 s child ever.
And that 8767 s why we women don 8767 t want single dads they are unable to compartmentalise things, set boundaries, prioritise and consider everyone 8767 s feelings or multi-task. Men can only think of their needs and their needs include looking to the world to be doing the right thing. Sadly this means they over focus on the child, the ex and telling the world their child is 8766 their world 8767 . As a single parent of 75 years I 8767 ve never felt the need to say that! Single dads need to get their heads out of their arses lol
Interesting new perspective. Long ago I really cared for and dated a man who had a child. I had absolutely no problem with it and seemed to fit right into their family dynamic. But, I think I was naive (before having my own kids) and couldn 8767 t fully grasp what it 8767 s like as I was too at the time and inexperienced. I was 65 yrs than the man and 65 yrs older than his daughter. 🙂 It worked out well and even now I like the idea of dating a man with a child. If someone were a widow that would do the opposite of scare me away. I love kids though and I am now a single parent so it is even more appealing to date a single dad but I have only had a few experiences with it.
You mentioned being able to tell when the other person doesn 8767 t want to be bothered w/the kids. Well, that may be the answer as well. They don 8767 t live in the same area and only get to see eachother 7-8 x 8767 s a month. Sometimes when they get together, the kids are w/family members or other babysitters. I think maybe he WOULD pick up on it if they were able to c eachother on a more regular basis. I just don 8767 t want it to come to that though. I feel like my gf is just wasting her time bc she can 8767 t find anyone else. Just kind of sad all the way around.
Women have shitty genes too you know. And its only happening in white nations for the most part. So whites being eliminated might not such a good thing for the whites. And these women marry betas anyway in the end. That s who they spawn kids with when the clock starts ticking post wall. And smart people reproduce less, as they consider the long term costs and desire to give their offspring better lives. We have an artificial environment where the government is bailing out the failures and bad decision makers. These single mothers would have starved to death long ago in caveman times. And in Victorian era, their children would be called bastards. So its all relative.
Courts have sometimes viewed all passwords as equal, faulting a victim whose partner hacked her Facebook because she had shared an Amazon password with him. The court questioned whether one password could be considered private, given that she had shared other accounts, Rucker explained. “If you share an iCloud account and you’re sharing pictures that way, you’re sharing accounts in the eyes of the court,” Rucker said.
This is the crux basically. If you want to do Monk Mode. then monk mode is pretty lonely. You can focus on your passions and still go hang out with the guys. Have you got a solid group of male friends? If not, then this would be the ideal time to meet some. Join some groups and just get chatting to new people. Have a think on that, depending on your interests and you should be able to busy yourself for at least a week or two trying out something new.
Another thing is this idea that women are called selfish because they don 8767 t want kids. Wouldn 8767 t the dads be selfish because most want a non mom because she can help support or babysit his kids. Single dads were the worst on dating sites. My profile stated no dads yet they contacted me and were almost always abusive, including death threats. I even had my first profile deleted on Plenty of Fish because of complaints. Yet these same men never date single moms. I know plenty of decent single dads but they aren 8767 t online. Why? Because they find quality mates offline because they are realistic. Most married single moms. Online is another story with lots of entitled single dads. I no longer do online dating because of the harassment I endured. I 8767 m 99 and have dated dads but will never do again even if it means a lifetime of cats. BTW I like kids, it 8767 s not an issue with them but the ex and all the drama and financial. I don 8767 t need someone that bad to deal with it.
There comes a time and age when a single man settles on the fact that the woman he ends up with will have a ready-made family for him. It 8767 s the price we pay for showing up late to the ball by the time single guy has defeated the work-force, made his bones, and decides on the whole nuclear family bit at 85+, his queen-to-be will have already danced the dance with another man. The bachelor accepts this, tries to look past it for love, and hopefully does a pretty damn good job of snapping into the role once they are married.
Bobbi, I 8767 ve heard you talk a lot about having empathy for men, but how do you define early on the fine line between a man who 8767 s heart can heal from just being heard and understood vs the one who will progress into a downward depressed spiral and needs someone to fix it for him. How does a woman be empathetic but not get sucked into their dark hole with them? What are the clues to watch for before getting your heart broken when you realize they need a mommy and have no intentions of standing on their own two feet? I 8767 ve also dated the 8775 nice guy 8776 that the other 8767 s talk about, only to find myself slowly being drug down a dark hole of negativity. How do we as women determine what is a healthy need of empathy in a man vs a man who wants has no intentions of growing and evolving?
It s especially a problem for players like me, who get laid purely on balls, because balls mean nothing online. You don t need balls to send a message, so me and a guy who can t say hi to a stranger offline are put on equal footing. My advantage has been effectively neutralized. Online makes dating much easier for good looking guys, and cancels the advantage of ballsy guys who approach.
Yes it 8767 s all the woman 8767 s fault that you have a baby mama it 8767 s not your child that 8767 s the problem but you and her mother ps I 8767 m so tired of hearing how you 8767 re not lazy because you work and take care of your kid.. You don 8767 t get a pat on the back for not being a pos You don 8767 t what you should do If you were out adopting a bunch of kids from terrible situations I 8767 d say you were doing something with praise