Posted: 2017-12-08 01:37
It isn 8767 t silly teachable it is grief and it is unavoidable. I really do feel for you and wish I could take away your pain. Sending you all the positive feelings I can muster. You really are not being foolish. You loved this person and they are gone. Nothing can be said and you have to let go of it. My father died this year and I had been NC with him for 68 years. The only way I have been able to even partially deal with it is to tell myself that in a way, he 8775 died 8776 for me when I made the NC decision, and anything I could have said to him in between, like 8775 I love you 8776 8775 You are a useless alcoholic 8776 8775 youhave wrecked dozens of lives 8776 8775 you are my dad and I still adore you no matter what you do 8776 would have been things that HE KNEW. None of it would have made any difference to him or his behaviour though. I don 8767 t know if this will help in the slightest with your situation but I hope you find your way out of the darkness.
A couple days later she calls me, again I 8767 m caught off guard. I say hey hows it going, and she says, and i freaking quote, 8775 Go on a date with me. 8776 8775 what? 8776 (this girl has hardly ever shown an interest in me and now that I ignore her she asks me out, Go figure) she says it again, and I say, alright she says when, and I pick Friday, she says shes busy.. Saturday? Actually my friend is having a barbecue Saturday, you could come with me to that. She says 8775 No. I don 8767 t want to go to your friends lame barbecue. Besides you can 8767 t show me off yet. 8776 I was like hah alright well just text me and we 8767 ll figure it out. And she says, hah no, you text me.
I m 6 9 and male and have some opinions on this. First let me say I m socially awkward so height alone isn t enough. I ve dated women from just under 5 to 6. I like it when a woman can look me in the eye in heels (life sized!), but it s really about the individual. Someone else said they don t know what their type is and I am the same, it just depends on her.
I think you made some very valid points, specifically on the issue with mental illness and psychology. I also believe that many mental illnesses are caused by something that is lacking or insufficient in the brain. I also believe that many psychologists are sometimes pressured to throw diagnosis 8767 onto their patients, and without really getting to know their patients or even taking the time to require medical assessments conjunctively, they slap a diagnosis into their file sometimes after only one visit! And this can really hurt a patient in the futrue, especially if the diagnosis is-god forbid-wrong. This is one of the main reasons I will never go into Clinical Psychology, I am more interested in research anyway.
For example, in an earlier conversation today, I initiated the conversation with a question about the girl s boyfriend. The ENTIRE conversation was her answering my questions. I made a few remarks ABOUT her ( Oh yeah I know you love traveling ) but other than that, it was nothing but questions from my side. I m not sure if she enjoyed the conversation, but I left feeling kind of drained and disappointed, because. well, she didn t care to ask me any.
I 8767 m not sold on the idea that 8766 women are hoping we figure this all out 8767 . I don 8767 t see the evidence of that in my day-to-day dealings with women. And I very rarely see any sort of encouragement to start conversions with women these days. I like to think I 8767 m looking for that encouragement maybe I 8767 m not looking for the right things I can 8767 t assume I 8767 ve been going about that the right way.
Her ex 8767 s demeanor is very telling. I 8767 d guess her initial attraction to him was based on his docility. We don 8767 t get to pick the genetics that shape our features, but everything about him accentuates his negatives. The pee-wee glasses, the little-bus haircut that accentuates his ears, the goofy open-maw smile- everything makes him look like a goof. The Grand Canyon picture shows her firmly in control, almost embarrassed though, and him weakly trying to pull her towards him.
With the bio-medical breakthroughs we are seeing on the horizon, it will not be long before trans* kids can live their lives right along with their cis peers and as adults conceive children, carry them in utero, birth them, (and of course nurse them as they can now). Remember, Lili Elbe, the first (that I know of) trans woman to undergo SRS/GCS did have a uterus and ovaries implanted, but being the late 6975 8767 s-early 6985 8767 s, there were no drugs to prevent organ rejection.
Don 8767 t do this to yourself , this is self imposed mental torture , you must NOT be available to these women any more , cut them off , erase their details & just go ghost on them. You are better off totally alone , than having these so-called friends , that view you with nothing but contempt , I 8767 m afraid that 8767 s the hard truth , they do NOT value you as a person , you are a convenient 8776 always available 8776 emotional tampon & nothing more.
men not looking at women, is a reactionary device in response to the past ten years (i know feminism has been around a lot longer) of ULTRA feminism that has crept into the curriculum of major universities.. parents have always told their daughters about the danger of being alone on the street late at night, carry your car keys through your knuckles, carry mace, etc etc but Parents now really need to teach their BOYS the dangers of falling in love with a women who could potentially ruin their life..
As far as treating them differently, people who are different always have to go through some things until it 8767 s fully accepted not saying that it 8767 s right, but unfortunately that 8767 s just how it is. Transgender people aren 8767 t exclusive to not always being treated nicely. We are getting better as a society people are becoming more accepting of differences, but it 8767 s gonna take some time.
Those angry women cannot slap an undeserving label on me, but nor can I be dissuaded from enjoying the company of women. I apologize like a man only for myself when warranted, and never on behalf of men in general. Meanwhile, angry women who seek to ruin my life are avoided in favor of well-meaning female human beings of character and you can best believe I 8767 m teaching my boy how to avoid the wrong women.
I started developing a pretty big crush on this girl from school. It was sort of impossible to ever talk in that class but we 8767 d always look at each other and smile. I asked her out a couple months ago. She said yes and we went for coffee. At some point she admitted to me that she 8767 s really bad with her phone (usually texts the day after). We 8767 re also both slightly introverted if that helps at all. Anyway coffee turned out really nice and she gave me a big hug at the end and we made plans to meet up again after we both got back from holiday.
Here 8767 s the problem: When all a guy ever hears every freakin 8767 day is 8775 men are dogs 8776 , 8775 men are players 8776 , 8775 men are rapists 8776 , 8775 men are no good 8776 , and the like, one becomes a little hard pressed to approach and engage the so-called 8775 fair sex 8776 . This is especially the case when most women consider men to be the enemy. Add a couple of generations of legally sanctioned misandry being pushed down our collective throat, this is what we now have: guys who have given the middle finger to approaching and meeting women. So much for gender reconciliation.
When I was a girl finding myself, I was met with similar questions and believed I would never find someone to love me. I had learned that I was unworthy and undeserving, and it took me years to release myself from the shame and stigma society had forced upon me as a woman. A man 8767 s desire for my body, my brain, my brilliance and my existence is not a laughing matter because I am not a joke.
I couldn 8767 t disagree with you text haters more. I text everyone throughout the day, even my parents in their 55s. I don 8767 t think it 8767 s a barrier towards real intimacy. I think it 8767 s for real people who have other things going on in their lives and they don 8767 t have the time to get into a lengthy conversation over every single thought. I agree that it is not a substitute for phone or in-person contact. But those of you who say dating men who use texting don 8767 t really like you are being silly. I think people have preferences towards modes of communication. Texting is great because it can be done almost anywhere, it 8767 s discreet, and it is super quick. I 8767 d much rather save phone or in-person time for those conversations that really matter, and save the 8775 Did you want anything from the store? 8776 conversations for a quick text. Oh, and I love the girl 8767 s response about sending 8775 Good Morning Beautiful 8776 s and 8775 Good Mornign Handsome 8776 s. My fiancee and I do the same thing and it always makes me happy, too. 🙂
Yes, if a woman only dates men, then her prime years will be wasted, no doubt. I was assuming the OP was interested in men her own age group. But when someone insists women should consider older men, I assume they mean MUCH older, since a few years older is the norm. Sorry, I wish there was more specific terminology for 8775 older within a normal range 8776 and 8776 much older. 8776
I think most women would agree that marrying the wrong guy could wreck their life. I do not disagree with that. I do disagree with the one-sided statement that women are 8775 supposed 8776 to be more selective. It 8767 s an ignorant mantra that has been spread for too long. The OKCupid survey was proof of its damage.
Frankly I think men, while having issues of their own have a healthier attitude about the opposite sex in this regard. I do agree that women are selective, but i reject the notion that this is good, or somehow their birthright.
Why it is like this is whole other debate in and of itself starting with Disney movies. You don 8767 t see shows aimed at boys of some illusive Princess Charming. Plus add in the biological reproduction aspect of only having one egg per month while men have a near unlimited supply of reproductive material.
My point is that propagating this notion is not helpful. If we are to respect this idea that it is their right, then we would then have to respect the right of men to pursue and bed every single they can in his biological calling to father as many children as possible. I for one, reject that also.
I am a quite attractive girl. I 8767 m tall, slim and have a nice clear face and large boobs. I found that 65 years ago, when I was 68 or so, guys didn 8767 t mind coming after girls and women in the street, it happened to me and my friends all the time. Now, I have noticed I barely get chatted up at all and I get stared at but that 8767 s about all. No one approaches me any more. No one approaches my attractive, fun and generous single best friend either and she is frustrated and feels ugly. I am engaged luckily but she is single and feels like giving up on guys. I definitely think the unrealistic fake blonde big boobed girls in porn have dampened mens 8767 desires for real women with real boobs etc very sad state of affairs.
I have been living in the US for 67 years and yes I have noticed that men don 8767 t notice us or pretend they don 8767 t. I have only have one boyfriend in all this time and I 8767 m sorry to say I had to be the one going to him at first, otherwise that too wouldn 8767 t have happened. In addition to the reasons listed here as to why I think men make sweeping generalizations before even talking to us and hearing us speak. This guy I was dating thought that I had lots of brothers and sisters just because I am hispanic and I don 8767 t. He also called me a bad name later down the road and it was over really quick because I 8767 m tired of them looking down on me. Every american guy I have dated is too passive and too relaxed in his little suburban environment with a golden retriever to bother doing the job of approaching and keeping women. Honestly they have been very mean too, verbally abusive from the start (when they aren 8767 t ignoring you)