Posted: 2017-11-14 11:45
The change was because of things he learned and worked for, not something that he continued the pattern of oh, well, value is inherent. Some of the things he did went against his own beliefs, but he did them anyways. By acting like he was supposed to act, at first it was uncomfortable, but after a while it become who he was. He never would have gotten there with his old mindset that his attractiveness was inherent. He would have constantly been drug down by his past (as a person other people thought was boring and uninteresting).
I don t think negging is about bringing the woman down a peg so much as it is about bringing the PUA up a peg. The PUA knows nothing about the woman he s met apart from the fact that he think she s hot. He assumes a bunch of stuff about her, assumes she s a person who views herself as being above others, assumes lots of guys throw themselves all over her etc etc. He then chooses to insult her based on ideas about her that he s invented in his own head.
I would also argue that your position on inherent value is the same as the Doc s. Inherent in this context doesn t mean that you were born a certain way, just that you actually are that way. You learn a certain trait, which then makes it an inherent part of your person, as opposed to a faç ade you hide behind. The entire point of this site is to teach you how to be an inherently better/more datable person.
I think plenty of people do that successfully it s the classic graduate high school and find your people in college thing, it s leaving your hometown and moving somewhere that fits your values better, it s giving up on trying to be one of the cool kids and going to join those people having fun playing that weird-looking game at the table in the corner.
In terms of women, I m not looking for instrumental advice right now (that might change after the money and muscles come online). As I ve said on the forums, the main reason I come here is that it is a relatively obscure forum with understanding people, and it is the only place where I can safely talk about how fucked up I am. If I talked about it to my parents, they would just tell me to stop being a loser and be grateful for what you have. If I told my friends, they would say you re a beta phaggot, you need to alpha it up [whatever the hell that means. Here, people just listen.
Taken to its logical conclusion, though, and it s actually useless advice. The billionaire is valuable to the Anna Nicoles of this world, the broke dashing musician is valuable to the bored housewife wanting an affair. These are of course comically crude stereotypes, but they serve to make the point if value is infinitely contextual, then it s a worthless and empty concept. Most men don t want to attract either Anna Nicoles or bored housewives (or at least not once they pass a certain age, anyway).
Listen to this. This doctor speaks the truth. It goes for men and women. The thing is, you can t fake that kind of confidence, either, there aren t really any fast fixes to trick yourself into believing that rejection is no big deal. You actually have to really *grok* that your life isn t over when rejection happens. You can t say it on the surface and insist that you re fine with rejection when you really aren t people will smell it on you.
If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to focus less on interests and more on character. When I met my husband, we didn t share a ton of interests. I loved fiction, he loved history. I loved computers, he loved science. Role-playing games was basically our only overlap! But I could see that he was intellectually curious and loving and flexible. I knew that if we spent our lives together, we d learn to love the things the other one cared about as a way of loving one another.
It 8767 s a reference to 8775 the man who would be king 8776 , in which Sean Connery and Michael caine are mistaken for gods by afghan villagers, and benefit greatly from acting as if they are entitled to all the honours the villagers heap upon them, but when the truth becomes apparent, it doesn 8767 t end well for Sean and Michael. I see it as a metaphor for all strategies for impressing people by pretending to be greater than you are, or adopting a mindset that you cannot fail.
Most of it isn t about lying either. You start acting like confident and successful people do, and eventually you figure out why they act that way and how it can work for you. It s like in a job interview you walk in confident, you make a better impression. In reality, you don t even know exactly what they want you to do. But by starting out giving a good impression, you get the opportunity to learn how to do it.
This of course begs the question, What kind of girl are you attracted to? Well, obviously the common interests should be there. Nerdy things like Dr. Who, Futurama, cooking, card games, science, history. Not sports or politics, or religion (I learned extremely early in life that these kinds of discussions can cause lots of confrontation, ESPECIALLY here in Texas). Don t get me wrong, I ve made attempts to get into specific areas of these topics before, but religious discussions usually lead to the person trying to convert me (I m Agnostic in case y all were wondering), Sports I find pointless and uninteresting, and Politics can tear people apart (so I avoid it entirely).
Either extreme is ridiculous. Who you are, what you do, and what you have all interplay with each other. I own a reliable car because who I am is somehow who doesn t want to be wasting time constantly taking my car to the mechanic, and ending up getting stranded in the middle of nowhere. Because who I am is someone who passed their classes and made it through college, and had a certain drive and understanding of what was needed in getting a job, I have a regular and well paying job. Were there other people who were as smart as driven as I was, but didn t end up with that? I imagine so but I also knew people who failed out because they spent their time in college partying constantly, or wallowing in self pity over I don t even know what.
Being assumed to be part of the shop staff isn t a mark of social failure. I m also frequently targeted as being a salesperson or a clerk maybe because I used to be one and that s changed the way I behave in stores? but I ve never gotten the feeling that it s based off negative assumptions. I only mind when people dump clothes they ve tried on into my arms.
I could have worded that better. Thanks for pointing that out. Additionally to what you say about making her feel a certain way, it s also not so much a matter of making myself feel a certain way so much as ALLOWING MYSELF to feel a certain way. Meditation allows me to acknowledge and embrace fully what I genuinely think and feel about my situations and circumstances and shows me how to best make the best decisions to change it and to get what I want, like chicks. And yes, even before reading your comment I have been noticing that the more I give up control and worrying the more harmonious things go and meditation has allowed me to accomplish that. I ve only been doing it for a couple weeks now though so I m still not quite 655% where I want to be yet, but things are changing and pretty rapidly too.
While someone who has a job just to pay the bills (retail or quick serve or something) may not be able to see (or care) about that value they add to Megacoproration A there are places we add value in our personal lives as well. I would suggest tracking things you find valuable about yourself. Measuring yourself and your progress can be hard and abstract but if you can find a metric to measure yourself against (# of words in your novel, # of miles biked, # of gigs booked, Blogs poste, etc.) I feel like it can go a long way towards seeing that value in yourself. And Building that sense of who you are and why you are valuable.
I agree with you that the tshirt conversation is a comeback, there has to be other context around it. But I disagree with you that it s not going anywhere. It s right from the article on this site on antagonistic flirting, and with a girl who s into that it seems like that would work fine, based on conversations I ve seen people having where they re just endlessly ribbing each other.
I don t mind at all. 🙂 He s got lovely shiny thick black hair, which is on the long side, something I personally really like. He has a fantastic smile that reaches all the way to his eyes, which shows up quite frequently when he s chatting with his coworkers (I don t speak the language, but they usually look like they are having fun when they talk together). At the risk of saying something tone-deaf coming from a white person, I think his skin is a particularly pretty shade of reddish brown, and it looks as though he is familiar with both cleanser and moisturizer (which sadly cannot be said of every guy I know). He has nice hands and wrists.
Feeding Texas is a statewide nonprofit that coordinates and integrates with state and federal relief efforts. NPR also collected a list of Texas food banks in areas hit by the storm: Houston Food Bank , Galveston Food Bank , Food Bank of the Golden Crescent (Victoria), Corpus Christi Food Bank , Southeast Texas Food Bank (Beaumont), Food Bank of the Rio Grande Valley (Pharr), Brazos Valley Food Bank (Bryan), Central Texas Food Bank (Austin), San Antonio Food Bank.
I m afraid the Ray J example is a bit reversed Ray J propelled Kim Kardashian s initial fame by her association with him. I can understand how it would seem the other way around to a typical man in this crowd because your primary concerns are hot chicks and seeming high value , durrrrrrrr, but you wouldn t even know Kim Kardashian s thot ass existed if it wasn t for her banging an initial celebrity (Ray J).
Harvey is now centered 685 miles southeast of Corpus Christi, according to a recent update from the National Hurricane Center. While it isn’t predicted to make landfall until later tonight or early tomorrow morning, tropical storm conditions are expected to reach residents of the middle and upper Texas coast by later this morning. Harvey is expected to be a major (Category 8+) hurricane at landfall, which would make it the first major hurricane landfall in the US since Hurricane Wilma in 7555.