Posted: 2017-10-03 08:35
For someone to truly connect with another person and feel completely content with another they must first know and accept themselves. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity. I have known people of all ages including countless couples who seem to have a better grasp on celebrities lives than they do on their own. I can count perhaps a handful of people I''ve met who have formed their own systems of belief. The vast majority have simply accepted whatever belief system they were fed without question.
Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Her responses completely surprised me.
WOW!!! That''s a bit harsh isn''t it? What''s Ryan ever done to you apart from waste a few minutes of your time reading his article..and a few more (self-inflicted) writing your comment? That poor guy might not have all the answers but his article still provides food for thought - in my humble opinion (please please don''t bite my head off for it! ). And while I had the same reaction as you, that ironically one day Ryan too might end up on a dating site, I really wish for him that he does not (because dear god it is an ugly parallel dimension!). Ryan, may your happily ever after last forever! :)
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In your situation this is the best way to regain your happiness, and restart your love and marriage.
I am sixteen, and I am bisexual. If I really think back, I think I 8767 ve always been bisexual. When I was seven and I learned that same-sex marriage was legal in California, I got really excited. When I was ten and I accidentally kissed my friend (I turned around and bumped into her), I was uncertain and panicky for days. When I used to be a competitive dancer, I looked at my friends 8767 legs in what I thought was envy. So it wasn 8767 t until freshman year of high school, when I developed a crush on my basketball team captain that I realized that I was Not Straight.
Thank you for writing me back. I am aware that I am at risk of catching something from him and risking that on my baby. He is ALSO aware of that too but seems to not care, since I told him over this past weekend that we are pregnant again. It hasn 8767 t stopped him from pursuing others. He is not on that Kik app talking to people and wanting to meet up with them and have an orgy. I 8767 m just completely disgusted and don 8767 t know how to handle this anymore. He knows I have no where to go and have nothing to my name but my mustang which won 8767 t even fit 8 kids in(once I have my 8rd baby). I feel trapped and he continues to lie and tells me, he 8767 s not doing anything and won 8767 t ever do that stuff again but it 8767 s untrue because I have access to his Kik(wbich he doesn 8767 t know) and I made one of my own so I can see what he writes in the groups. I did my research to figure the app out. He doesnt know it 8767 s me but I know it 8767 s him. I would LOVE to take your course but having him willing to take it, is probably a lost cause. I feel I only have 7 options. I just don 8767 t know which way to go. Thank you, again.
Wow, makes me lol to hear women complain about OKC. Oh no, you had to sift through a bunch of messages from really gross people? Oh poor baby, the internet really just isn''t for you, is it? That certainly is somehow equivocal to the disappointment a lot of men receive on these sites of getting no attention at all.. oh wait, those two aren''t even remotely comparable. If you can''t deal with ugly, sleazy, mediocre people, get the fuck off the internet!
Amazing, that 8767 s what happen with me and my ex, we would break up and he would date other woman, and I would feel extremely insecure, jealous, crazy, and etc then he would put pics up of one chic and then cut me off. I was devastated, so now I got Elizabeth 8767 s book and I am working on me, so that I can get the LOVE OF MY LIFE back and FOR GOOD this time, in my heart I truly, truly, truly believe we are SOULMATES, everyone tells me, that I should just move on, that I am a beautiful lady and I will find someone else and that he 8767 s not that into me, etc, but we where together for 9 years going on 5, and I had alot of negative doubts, and insecurities and we kept breaking up. But, I truly believe that he and I are meant to be, and I am so excited that I brought the book and am reading it, taking the steps, and working on me. Best of luck!!!!
The Church loves me. It desires what is best for me, and sometimes this kind of love hurts, because it doesn 8767 t always feel good. However in the long run it guides me to a much more fulfilling life and a more adventurous one. No, the Church is NOT a bigoted institution that hates gays. Quite the opposite. I have never met as many loving and understanding people as I have in the Catholic Church. I am incredibly fortunate! I have many friends in the Church that know about my struggle and are there to support and encourage me along the way. I have a choir of saints and angels who are constantly interceding for me, a mother in heaven that deeply loves me, and a God who bears his very self in the Eucharist each and everyday. If you ask me I 8767 ve hit the jackpot.
Nature didn''t takes it''s course as it did over years for us to connect over a wire. That just doesn''t work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself. Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can''t control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media.
My ex husband has always been on several sites at once and even lies about his age on them. He said he wants to reconcile with me. He said he deleted, or couldn 8767 t delete his POF profile BUT I come to hind out he just HID the profile. Doesn 8767 t matter how loving I am. He lies and lies. I 8767 ve already talked to him about it, ad nauseum, and he said I was 8775 losing my mind 8776 . He 8767 s deflecting his BS on me so I left, ad nauseum. Everytime he got caught he blamed me. Your thoughts please.
We carefully “peruse” the onslaught of “opportunities” (. responses and messages) we receive because WE HAVE TO. Not because we a rude, stuck-up b*tches atop our thrones. Meanwhile, you guys are doing the ole, what is it? Oh yeah – “numbers game.” So – you tell me, men - as you are keen to say, “ if the situation were reversed” – maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t find it quite as glamorous and fun as you are imagining. We women are wading through a sea of what contains everything from – (best case scenario), truly good guys who perhaps don’t articulate themselves as a match on paper - all the way to a plethora of ( worst case scenario) - psychopaths, married men, rapists, pedophiles and just plain old weirdos, etc.
I think you would enjoy our book. You remind me of one our earlier coaches, who was a MFT and he taught psychology at the collage level. When he explained how he worked with his clients I told him he didn 8767 t need us, but he said 8775 I want to be part of you because you validate what I have always believed 8776 ...You will do very well with your man, and when you marry you will be able to enjoy much more connection.
Blessings to you both
Once you have brought children into the world there is really no better choice than to try to stay with your husband, and do your best to make your marriage work in spite of your husband 8767 s weaknesses.
In our marriage help program for women we begin with how to manage your mind so the impact is greatly lessened, and how to see your husband as having a disease to contend with, that hurts everyone. Then, we go over marriage in depth, so all your expectations can be realistic.
What you have to realize as a guy is that weirdly enough there are literally thousands of male profiles that have handsome guys educated to doctorate level on these sites. Just take a look for yourself. This means that no woman would even consider your profile if you a) don''t have a doctorate b) don''t look at least ''ok'' but the doctorate is the clincher. Its just as if when us guys look at profiles on these sites if there were thousands of porn star hot profiles on the site and you had some chance of having them reply to you, you wouldn''t even think about wasting your time with a quite pretty girl who was really nice. Unfortunately It''s as simple as that. It''s not cos you or I are mean it just would be lunacy if you found a hot model liked you and you liked her to go for someone else. That is what these girls are all effectively facing from their point of view a dating site chock full of the most attractive guys so why bother on the rest. Not only that but even for the doctorate level entries they don''t get women hitting on then out of the blue every 5 minutes. Try it make a fake profile and you''ll see what I mean.
Hi JG I 8767 m glad you 8767 re enjoying my book on attracting a specific person! Detachment will come with time. Don 8767 t worry so much about whether you 8767 re doing things right. The Law of Attraction isn 8767 t about perfection. Also, as I discuss in the book, focus on doing things that make you happy. It 8767 ll be far more effective than trying to cover the doubts up with affirmations.
Dear Jessica your situation is as tough as can be because you are doubly vulnerable. We would say to continue loving him, but protect your family by not allowing sex without a condom. Therapy will likely not work. As you say, he is too immature. But this is not a family buster unless you are the one to bust it.
Taking care of his physical needs is not what is meant by taking care of a man 8767 s needs. He, like you, needs unconditional love. It would be wise for you to use our course or, at the very least, read one of our books both spell out much that you need to learn.
Fortunately i am content with who I am as a person and recognize that at this stage of my life I am looking for a woman to connect with intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Certainly for myself physical attraction is important but it has moved from the top of my list to the bottom. I wish I could state that my shifting ideals have made it easier to find potential partners but in reality it is now immeasurably more difficult.
Your husband is reacting to your behaviors, as well as his own misconceptions. Every man will react differently. You cannot alter the things in his mind, but you can alter the outer conditions, meaning how you are with him. In most cases that is more than enough.
In some cases the husband might be using alcohol, drugs, or be impacted by something nobody can see, and those cases are tougher. Bur usually the marriage should get better in ways you cannot now imagine..try to not give up
Your desire to learn is half the battle! It is advantageous that your husband is deployed for two reasons. The first is that you can get a 55% discount on our program, as we honor our military in this small way (compared to your sacrifices). The other benefit is that you can work on the program while he is away, and practice what you learn so when he is home he is met with a wife who truly understands his, shall I call it, 8775 limitations 8776 .
You will learn how to open him up, and how far he will. Men are not going to open up a women do, but that is part of him.