Posted: 2017-12-07 03:11
I will admit going to the gym has strengthened my core and changed how I move. Whether that demonstrates confidence or not remains to be seen. For me the whole fake it till you make it stuff can so easily lead to coming across as try hard. Pretending you believe in something you don t isn t easy. If it works for some people, great. It s just that some people are going to find that hard. Attitudes don t just turn up. They are formed by experiences in life. It s going to be hard for someone to go beyond those experiences and start pretending to have confidence.
Any profile that whines about what they are tired of hearing or tired of dealing with is negative. How bout throwing in a sentence or two describing what YOU will bring into THE OTHER PERSON S life. Not lamenting about how awful you ve been treated in the past. After all, we all train others to treat us as they do. One of life s most bitter pills we all must, myself included.
8775 I have been in the - area for a few years now and always looking to meet new people. (This first sentence says nothing eye-catching about the woman and is very bland, and boring). I am a very hard worker and love my job. I work a lot, but I know how to balance well. I enjoy
meeting new people and going to new places. (still, nothing thought provoking or attractive) I am very spontaneous and I love the outdoors, watching movies, dancing, and traveling. (Another cliché statement that is being used by thousands of other women) A great date can be staying at home with a movie and popcorn, or a night on the town. (This statement has no purpose whatsoever). I made myself a promise a few years ago to take a vacation somewhere new, out of state, every year. I have not been disappointed yet. I would really love to see Europe. (Finally something somewhat interesting that she says about herself).
Advice: Don 8767 t believe all this girl power BS that feminists are feeding you. Do you honestly believe that a man would want to do 95 65 hrs of hard labour a week and then come home to do more chores? Don 8767 t be one of those girls that trivialise hard work as 8775 oh its his duty as a man. 8776 If everything else (eg. love, care, affection, work, dropping work if you get sick, outings, family events) is not good enough for you then you need to start rethinking your expectations or consider staying alone.
Like i think if I described myself here, my height, weight, age etc people would come up with a totally different picture than the truth. 6. A lot of my weight is muscle so to look at me I probably look ten pounds lighter aesthetically (or what one would assume is ten pounds lighter). But if I m honest about my weight then some people would automatically rule me out even though to look at me they d be totally cool with it. 7. Height. People always guess I m two inches taller than I am because of how I carry myself. 8. And then there s my age. Now I have no desire to be with a dude who is looking for women way than himself anyway, but I know that I look much than I am. Like I m talking mid-75s. So a guy who wanted to be with someone who looks that could actually get that from me, but again, if their age range is under 85 he isn t going to see me in his options.
For the men, the best way to describe it is an awareness and physical control, like they are 655% present in their body, a casual physicality when they walk, sit, gesture, etc as if they are not thinking of how they appear. The other thing they all have in common is a history (or present) of doing something physically challenging, be it traditional Vietnamese dance, rock climbing, military, marathons, martial arts, yoga, etc.. I think activities like this help with body confidence and presentation.
My contention is that inequality and competition are the precursors of societies ills. Men mistreating women certainly but more to the point people mistreating each other for gain. It seems odd to think that men seeking a partner would act as many so often do but it is important to remember we''re not dealing with intellectually compassionate equals. We''re dealing with generations of people that have been bred to compete with one another and ultimately not see each other as equals but as enemies of a sort. We''re not killing each other (for the most part at least within our own society) but we are competing for limited resources to our own detriment.
All this bitterness you''re expressing comes through in how you write messages. I can guarantee it. That''s why no one writes you back. No one wants to engage with someone they have to prove themselves to. Maybe drop all that anger you have at being rejected so that you can properly open the door up to being accepted. You''re approaching these chicks like, "dumb bitch isn''t going to write me back anyway why am I even wasting my time." You''re reaping what you sow.
Confidence is incredibly attractive, I m not sure where you re coming from with that statement. Hands down, the *fastest* attractor in a man is confidence, above every other single quality. It rides in the body, expresses itself in the posture, in the direct gaze, in the willingness to laugh and be vulnerable, the surety of being comfortable in the skin and in the serene attitude that projects outwards.
However, I don t agree that emotional reactions are just a smaller version of a pervasive negative attitude, and I think that s where the heart of this debate lies. Yes, we have emotional reactions to what happens to us, but outside of the moment, whether to hold on to those emotions are a choice. I ll defer to ShieldGirl s expertise as a psychologist on specific methods of therapy, but for myself, I try to feel those emotions, deal with them, and then let them go. It s not easy, especially for something that everybody and their father in law like to mention to you (for some, it s height, for me, it s my underemployment and living with my parents), but nobody wants to deal with my pain about that, and frankly, I don t want them interacting with it. So I try to treat every interaction as new, even though I have this baggage about that type of interaction.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person &ndash you&rsquo d probably have 9 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night.
Eh, I sort of disagree. Yes, preferences are preferences, but that doesn 8767 t mean that we as women, shouldn 8767 t be looking at our overall tendency to. Fetishise is the wrong word, requirement maybe? Require a certain height from our partners as a base line. There are certain gendered assumptions in dating that are based on stereotypes and traditional stuff that we as a whole should be challenging because they 8767 re bad for us. Men expecting a partner to be and less experienced than them is one. Women expecting their partner to be taller than them is another. If that is what genuinely turns your crank, that 8767 s not something that can be changed, but if the only reason you 8767 re ruling out a woman older/more experienced than you or a man shorter than you is because society has given you the expectation of That Is Not Who You Should Date then I think some introspection might be in order.
I have some pretty bad social anxiety and so I am faking most of the confidence I seem to have. My problem is that I am also an extrovert and I love being around people. So it s being miserable and lonely, or being social and terrified for me. I ve learned how to act confident and happy and un-terrified until I can calm down enough to be actually comfortable. Doing that has taught my (high-strung and extremely annoying) nervous system that I will survive the encounter, no matter how scared I am in the moment. It s given me coping mechanisms to calm down. Basically, I ve taught my nervous system that I m ok, I can deal and I can get myself through whatever it is. So it can work. You just need to invest time and energy into it. And maybe you ll never be 655% confident. I m certainly never getting rid of the anxiety. But you can go from 5% confident to 75% to 55% to 85% and that ll make all the difference in the world to you.
However it''s the same for me dudes, if you are tall nowadays you''re not creepy and slimy, you''re creepy and threatening. I don''t have the greatest social skills but I''ve been out with friends at bars/clubs who were 5''5 and my same weight and they were just happy cheerful butterballs and could get an entire table of women warming up to them, the same women that gave me the bad boy looking tall dude who women have told me I''m on the Brad Pitt scale on looks basically the cold shoulder.
I can t tell you how many times I have read a guy s profile and literally cringed at how it was written. It doesn t matter how good looking you may think you are, what you say and how you say it has a lot to do with how you are perceived. What you didn t mention, at least in this article, are the types of pictures that should and shouldn t be posted. Maybe it s just me, but I can t stand shirtless mirror shots. Is that all you ve got to offer? If you re just looking for a hookup, I guess it s perfect. Even worse, the shots of a guy taking his own picture in the mirror with his camera or phone, like he s so insecure he can t admit to anyone he needs help getting a good picture of himself. I am not a 65 by any stretch, but I think photos I ve posted say a lot about my personality, interests, and sense of humor, and that is what the guys I m looking for really care about anyway.
Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best ''focused and pro-active'' option. Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife. And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner.
I think be reading the comments here on what women want, one can easily tell why men aren''t getting what THEY want. It''s always funny to see men saying what women really want and what we really think, and with such confidence! Oh, the laughs. Men, you can thank your fellow dudes here for spending too much time in pick-up artist forums, and tainting the dating pool so heavily with these wildly inaccurate childish perspectives they learn from other creepy men. Please do not blame women, for if you had to read dozens of messages from guys in the Red Pill community, who sound more and more like Elliot Rodgers the longer they remain single, you''d probably bow out of dealing with it after too long as well.
While in my 75''s I was one of the "nice" guys who rarely could get a date, this was pre-online dating. This was more due to my shyness of physically approaching a real live girl than looks b/c I had quite a number of women "looking" my way. While I spent a decade overcoming my shyness the "alpha" dudes were pounding the women left and right, pump and dump, ignoring the masses of nice guys who could not compete for one reason or another, shyness, etc.
The thing is, as with many other masculine insecurities, this is predominantly in our heads. At 5 8767 8 8798 , I 8767 m short for an American caucasian male. Worse, I 8767 m the shortest of all my friends who range from 5 8767 6o 8776 on the short side, to 6 8767 7 8798 on the tall side. But my height has only been as much of a problem as I 8767 d let it be. Over the years, I 8767 ve dated and slept with women of all heights, ranging from 5 8767 6 8798 to six-foot tall amazons. The trick is understanding how to make height less of an issue.
as a straight man, doing the on line dating thing is very hard. you really do not know about the person that you are talking too. it is very scary, but it seems the women that i have talked to play games and it is hard to have a conversation with them. i have heard a lot of horror stories about on line dating. the best way to meet women is to be introduced to them, through a friend. i go out a lot and always seem to meet women that are very nasty, and have a very bad attitude as well. many of them are real basket cases, and not worth meeting at all.