Posted: 2017-10-06 00:33
Interesting article, fascinating comments. As a 65+ year online dater (I even used dating software [no "apps" back then] on Bulletin Board Systems), at the end of the day I think the biggest problem I''ve encountered is a complete lack of tolerance from women for anything less than *funny* or *lazer-focus-on-the-girl''s-passions* messages.. POF is right on the money at least as far as their advice goes "talk about her interests, or these topics.." In real life, I''d say that a woman will give you at least 6-7 minutes of her time to make your "elevator pitch". With online dating, in the vast majority of interactions you have *one* message, and then maybe a second one if you''re lucky. Granted, I''m a superficial bastard, and I own that. There are lots of women who''ve reached out to me who I''m sure I could have easy, stress-free conversations with. But I''ve tried dating people I''m not attracted to, and I''ve never been a good/strong enough person to overlook it, so I''d rather be honest and only date women I find attractive.
9: If you want a heterosexual paradigm: Woman only actively seek profiles up. Men stop initiating any contact. This is of course an utopia. From my experience (probably longer than most of you), the silver platter women are handed is not going to change. Those in power will seldom let go of it. And yes, there are some degree of initiating contact from woman, but it is truly unbalanced. What happened to equality and girl power?
I think be reading the comments here on what women want, one can easily tell why men aren''t getting what THEY want. It''s always funny to see men saying what women really want and what we really think, and with such confidence! Oh, the laughs. Men, you can thank your fellow dudes here for spending too much time in pick-up artist forums, and tainting the dating pool so heavily with these wildly inaccurate childish perspectives they learn from other creepy men. Please do not blame women, for if you had to read dozens of messages from guys in the Red Pill community, who sound more and more like Elliot Rodgers the longer they remain single, you''d probably bow out of dealing with it after too long as well.
But the reason women always slept around is they''re wired that way. As well as the evidence accumulated by Bergner you can look at "sperm wars" and paternity testing for proof. Why do sperm fight and kill one another? They have to if they want a chance at a fertilising an egg, because women have always slept around. And there were a lot of surprised people around when DNA testing of children first became possible.
This phenomenon is why sometimes you ll meet someone through an online dating site and think that they seem like just your type and you d get along really well, maybe have some nice message exchanges that imply you d get on really well, but then when you meet in person, there s just no connection. This happened to me on the last date I went on, and I was shocked. I was physically attracted to the guy, and we d had some very good conversations online, and we had a perfectly nice date when we went out. But my emotional response to the whole evening was really flat. I felt like I was one of the aliens from the Neutral Planet: I have no strong feelings one way or the other. He must have noticed the same lack of connection, because he never contacted me for a second date.
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that''s not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
I guess I don t understand this attitude. I get that you think you ve put in enough effort and that should be sufficient. But several of us, upon seeing your video, said something to the effect of oh, now I understand the problem. Yet despite numerous people telling you that your manner of speaking was almost certainly one of the main things if not *the* main thing holding you back, you continue to look for other explanations, or else complain that you ve already done quite enough.
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they''re looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."
I 8767 ll be honest: the cultural phenomenon that is Girls has more or less passed me by. 6 However, I will absorb the occasional moment from the show through sheer cultural osmosis usually when it stirs up another controversy that ends up plastered all over the blogs that I steal from mine for topics read. So while I may be a little behind the pop-culture curve, there are certain issues that I find fascinating from an outsider 8767 s perspective.
Like OkCupid, tries to strike a balance between letting you use your own words and helping you fill in pre-fab questions and fields. It does a decent job, but not an outstanding one. The information it asks for is more boring (how many times a week you exercise) and often too open-ended (describe yourself in your own words), which means people often don’t complete their profiles, or they fill them in with the kind of clichés Dolor warns against.
If only a simple Hello would suffice, because reading a dozen ENTIRE profiles every day is time consuming and a little draining on the mind. That isn''t even considering that I then need to choose which women I feel I could bond with over either similar outlooks on life or common interests and goals. If only looks were all that mattered, or better yet if looks didn''t even matter. Alas they do, and everybody is attracted to people with similar genetic markers to themselves. If the world weren''t like that though, we''d join a site and be done the next day.
heh, from my experience pretty much this is the case. I get a good bit of unwanted attention from women who I d never consider sexually appealing. And who I would consider myself having to Date down dramatically in order to go out with. Am i offended? Not anymore than I am when gay guys approach me to ask me wildly inappropriate things like if I want to be their cub.. I just shudder, mutter a not interested.. and get the hell away from them.
Does anybody else think that Brad Pitt would have a better career if he was not as good looking? He has leading man looks and he does alright in leading man parts but that really isn t where is strength is as an actor. Brad Pitt is much better playing slightly to very unhinged people like his character in 67 Monkeys or his role in Inglorious Bastards. He d probably receive more parts better suited to his abilities if he looked moer unhinged.
For traditional women like Laura, the expectations of dating – and the subsequent expectations of marriage and family – remained firmly in place, even as the reality proved to be something else entirely. Laura hung out with men at football games, drank with them at bars, sometimes even “shacked up” (her term for spending the night without sleeping with them) and somehow these hangouts would turn into hookups, which would in turn become something more, though there wasn’t ever any clear-cut path to how that might happen. There was certainly never dinner and a movie. Laura’s hopes and romantic aspirations might be just the same as those of her mother, who''d also been in a sorority, but there was suddenly no guidebook, no etiquette, no rules to dictate how those aspirations would be accomplished. When her now-husband asked her out over a text message, Laura was horrified by the lack of formality. She almost turned him down.
Dancing is another talent that often overcomes looks. I challenge you to visit any Latin club and watch the amazing dancers. Some of the most talented dancers, the ones who are most in demand when the merengue begins or the salsa music starts to play, are often the older men they may not look like much but to watch them dance is to watch someone be transformed. The grace and skill with which they move can be mesmerizing.
This is another awkward bit, and isn t entirely fair, but I think you probably need to be especially careful in talking about this sort of thing with women who are slightly older than you are, especially if you look a bit for your age. The combination of the two things might lead them to chop a few years off their estimate of how old you are and reclassify you as that cute kid from the bar rather than as someone who d be a potential dating partner.
But I can t help but think that there are just some unfortunate people out there, who through no fault of their own.. are just kind of bleh. Often though a lot of it boils down to dress and attitude on top of appearance. I think the vast majority of people are just plain and there isn t anything wrong with that. I also want to add that I m not making any statements about height or weight.. this scale is simply about overall appearance..
Oh, and should I even begin to get into the stories of how many angry and hateful comments I get when I say I want a guy who has a stable job, college-educated, and some hobbies? Cause, see, even though that describes me (so I am essentially asking for someone in my league ), because my looks don t qualify me for anything but jobless basement dwellers, I should be ashamed for showing such blatant hypergamy.
I just saw this post, which would be an answer to a bunch of the questions I asked in another thread. Sorry! Finding ways to optimize success and minimize pain can be very healthy. At the same time, though, I think it is a good idea to bear in mind the plethora of exceptions to leagues or types. We re talking about generalizations, which as somebody mentioned are problematic at best for predicting individual behavior as a result, it is important to pay attention to the person actually in front of you for the clues he/she is giving you before deciding you know what is going to happen. Without bearing in mind the possibility of individual exceptions, leagues become a replacement for talking with or getting to know a new person.
A lot of people think that I m very sweet and they like being around me. Nobody ever accused me of being angry, bitter, and frustrated, or whiny outside the internet. I m well-liked by friends, by professional colleagues, and by people I know through dance. My ex-dates overall seemed to thing that I was a rather pleseant fellow and most of them seemed to have fun, only one really seemed to dislike, they just did not seem to see me as dating material for some reason that I can t comprehend. Trust me on this.