Posted: 2017-11-24 21:00
I 8767 m 75 and in love with someone is 57. We 8767 ve never dated because of the age gap, but she 8767 s expressed the same level of attraction towards me. We both desperately want to be together, I have never loved anyone more. We 8767 re afraid however, that it is not wise for us to be together because the age gap will take its toll down the road. I don 8767 t know what to do, I am truly heartsick.
The technology is not the problem. The same thing exists whether online or off. For example, Eric's major problem is attempting to present himself as a "nice guy" even it happens that he is one. Single females are not looking for him. They want the guy who will treat them poorly, beat them physically or emotionally, imprison them without bars, enslave them without chains, etc. The only ones looking for the nice guy are already married to the bad boy who have done the above and only now realize that isn't what they should have been looking for. I have watched the same thing over and over again for decades. That aspect of the game has never changed, only the venue from face-to-face meetings in bars, clubs, schools and other physical locations and events to Match and eHarmony.
Also, parents feel like they just don’t understand the current mating situation. The technology of mating is moving so fast like texting and online dating and the way that dates happen. Grandparents and parents don’t feel like their expertise is that relevant to people even though a lot of it actually is because human nature doesn’t change that much. Then, there’s people seeking to make a bunch of money off of insecure men, basically scammers and slightly sociopathic pickup artists trying to sell their weekend programs. Not all of them are bad. Some of them have good insights but the economic model that they have is very different from what we’re doing in Mate. We’re just like, “We’re going to stick it all in one book. It’s fairly cheap. Boom. That’s what we know.” Other folks are more like, “How can we make thousands of dollars out of men’s insecurity before we give away useful information.”
You are correct Im a very visual woman and not being able to see the guy when he has pics of his car, toys, pet, sunsets makes me move to next profile One guy who had a hobby of photography had a great clear awesome quality image of some brussel sprouts!!!! But do you think I could see . LOL
I actually really like the matching algorithm on OK Cupid and being able to see how guys answer questions
I've had the same experience as you've said. I don't understand it. They keep ignoring everything I say to them about myself. They become fixated on the picture, even though my profile says I don't think I'm wonderful and my hair looks awful. They don't read it at all. I'm a whole person and this is wasting my time. I'm still at home on a Saturday night. If I'm that gorgeous (I don't think I am), why aren't they asking me out? I've tried to prompt them and get nowhere. Are they shy? Are they feeling inadequate? I can deal with that if the person is interested. If you can't get past that to find out, then I give up.
Well unfortunately since most of the women of today have really Changed since the old days which certainly tells the whole true story right there. Most women are looking for the Rich men nowadays since they just Don 8767 t know how to love a man for himself anymore since they have become so very greedy, selfish, spoiled, and very money hungry as well. Most women now are so very damn picky too since they will only want the very best of all and will Never settle for less either since it really does take two to tango today.
We carefully “peruse” the onslaught of “opportunities” (. responses and messages) we receive because WE HAVE TO. Not because we a rude, stuck-up b*tches atop our thrones. Meanwhile, you guys are doing the ole, what is it? Oh yeah – “numbers game.” So – you tell me, men - as you are keen to say, “ if the situation were reversed” – maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t find it quite as glamorous and fun as you are imagining. We women are wading through a sea of what contains everything from – (best case scenario), truly good guys who perhaps don’t articulate themselves as a match on paper - all the way to a plethora of ( worst case scenario) - psychopaths, married men, rapists, pedophiles and just plain old weirdos, etc.
Great article. We all know that #9 does not work though. Giving an ultimatum?? Really? I 8767 m sure there are many girls who have tried this and it failed. I have. If you have a 8766 requirement 8767 and it won 8767 t be met then walk away FOR GOOD. If you have a need talk to him about it don 8767 t ack like a 5 year old and threatened to walk out with hopes that your little game will all of sudden inspire him to love an insure girl. Even if he does he will resent the force you used.
Wow I can 8767 t believe how many guys think us women have it easier. Unbelievable. Did you not read Marni 8767 s article that we all have the same problems when finding someone or approaching the other gender? Also, to the person who said 8775 a woman 8767 s hobby is talking 8776 ?? I know a lot of women who prefer to listen than talk and are intersted and involved in many hobbies. Perhaps many of you really do need to get out more and talk to women because you do not know us very well. We are pressured everyday by how we are supposed to look or act.
I am not in the top 65% of women, I am attractive but no 9 or 65. When I was on dating sites I would typically get 7-65 messages a day, when I changed something around it would jump to about 75. Out of all those messages I might respond to 5-6 a week. So guys, it really is important write an intriguing first message and don 8767 t cut and past some message from PUA online game forums. I can 8767 t tell you how many guys sent me the 8775 I already married and divorced you in my mind. 8776 message.
I 8767 m a 79 year old professional and I recently started dating a woman who has a kid I have none. I 8767 ve thought long and hard about it and unfortunetely have decided I cannot raise someone else 8767 s kid. It is a shame because she is an amazingly wonderful girl who I would love to settle down with, however, as much as I 8767 ve wrestled with it, I cannot bring myself to raise someone else 8767 s child. Now I awkwardly have to break up with her. To anyone else: do not put yourself in this position.
Daniel: This is a little outside my scope, but the first thing I 8767 d recommend is to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your needs. Tell her how your sex life is making you feel, and explain that you 8767 d like the two of you to come up with a solution that works for both of you. Hopefully that gets the lines of communication flowing so the two of you can work toward a compromise!
Online dating is ridiculous for men. My day starts with rejection and ends with rejection. Women are too worried about a mans exterior appearance that it blinds them to everything else. I've been doing online dating for a few years now and have met some women, but most of the messages I receive are from women I'm not physically attracted to. After talking with buddies women seem to ignore every man, so who are they talking to? Online dating isn't just harder for men, it's much harder. It's men doing the vast majority of work and women sitting there filtering thru and rejecting all the nice guys that she complains about not existing.
So you know for sure she was getting approached all night long? You know for sure guys were buying her dinners/drinks? You know for sure she was getting into clubs with zero wait time or zero cover? Was she a celebrity or something? I 8767 ve heard of some clubs letting women in for free to encourage men to pay to get in. But not every woman is approached all night long, not every woman is getting in free to clubs and not every woman is getting bought drinks and dinners all the time.
There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 55 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online.
However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.
Interesting idea, but not my experience. I get my fair share of messages.. on average, 5 a day. I'm pretty good looking by most standards, though I'm fully aware I'm not the most attractive, and I often find messages from men who are far less physically attractive than the men I've dated IRL (some of whom I've met online!) Of all the men, most find my profile interesting and say so, even if there's a blatantly obvious comment (about interests, what we're seeking, or looks) that should make it obvious that we aren't compatible. It's like they ignore it and try, anyway.
That just sounds like, 8775 make reference to something in the woman’s profile 8776 which you 8767 ve quoted as a boring and unoriginal approach. It sounds as though the men referenced by Jon Millward (incidentally, it looks like it 8767 s his personal perception of 8775 boring 8776 , not something tested on a range of people) were trying to do exactly that and just not quite getting it.
This is certainly a truth. One of the major inequalities in our society is that once a woman is pregnant a guy has no say in the situation. He is merely expected to accept her decision and pay that child support ($$$$). So, many women set a guy up, tell him 8775 I 8767 m on BC, so no need for you to wear a condom. 8776 The guy trusts her, and then finds out later 8775 Oops. I wanna keep the kid and you are gonna pay! 8776
Wow, makes me lol to hear women complain about OKC. Oh no, you had to sift through a bunch of messages from really gross people? Oh poor baby, the internet really just isn't for you, is it? That certainly is somehow equivocal to the disappointment a lot of men receive on these sites of getting no attention at all.. oh wait, those two aren't even remotely comparable. If you can't deal with ugly, sleazy, mediocre people, get the fuck off the internet!
Also, at a more micro level, people tend to match on specific traits. Married couples correlate pretty highly for IQ, general intelligence. They correlate very strongly for political and religious values. They correlate pretty strongly for personality traits. A lot of online dating sites like OkCupid with their match percentage recognize this. Your match percentage is basically saying if you want to be happy, do assortative mating. We’ve asked these thousands of questions you can answer on OkCupid specifically so you can do assortative mating. That tends to lead to happier dates.