Posted: 2017-11-12 03:00
A confident woman doesn’t waste time worrying about whether her date likes her. She’s working from the knowledge that he or she accepted or initiated the date in the first place, so she safe in assuming her date likes something about her. She also has enough sense of her own value to know that she’s awesome, and that if things don’t end up working out with the date, it’s not because there’s something wrong with her.
Self-esteem isn 8767 t an essential need like food or water, but it 8767 s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled. The fact is, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will never truly believe that someone else can love you and you will constantly be on the lookout for the other shoe to drop, for the guy you care about to leave, thus validating the fact that you are unworthy of love.
6. If she wants flowers, she’ll plant a garden. Flattery, chocolates and jewelry are always nice, but she doesn’t need them to feel good about herself. She wants someone ready to show up and evidence his interest in her without floundering, playing games or sending mixed signals. She’s confident enough to walk away if she’s not getting what she needs. She knows she deserves it. She’ll force you to be the best person you can be, because that 8767 s what she demands. You’ll find yourself able to be yourself since that’s how she likes you.
7. When it comes to making big purchases, your opinion is important to her, but she’ll make her own decisions. This applies to big ticket items like cars, furniture and technology, no matter how “right” you think you are. She’ll enjoy your company as you choose the best flat screen TV for her living room and you’ll certainly lie on dozens of mattresses with her until you find one that makes you never want to leave her place.
Here 8767 s how to boost your confidence and open yourself up to a real connection with a man.
Step 6: Let Down Your Guard
A man isn 8767 t attracted to a woman because of how beautiful she is or because she is a certain type. If that were true, every gorgeous woman on the planet would be attached and would never suffer the pain of heartbreak. All you have to do is look at someone like Halle Berry who has had her fair share of romantic mishaps. It happens to all of us.
8. She’s got her own views and opinions that may or may not differ from yours. She won’t agree with you or even pretend to agree with you when you’re clearly wrong. Independent is not the same as argumentative, however, so while she is fine to stick to her own views, she’s not interested in debating you necessarily. You appreciate her mind and convictions, even more so when her thoughts diverge from your own because she’s not trying to force you to agree with her. She’s opened you up to new viewpoints on things.
You don 8767 t have to play hard to get or be afraid you 8767 ll look to eager. If you 8767 re happy to be with him, say so, 8775 I feel really excited to be here with you, 8776 even if it feels scary and like you 8767 re 8775 putting yourself out there. 8776 You 8767 re not. You 8767 re expressing a genuine, authentic emotion from the heart (if you really ARE happy to be with him!)
A woman who reveals herself gradually, carefully peeling back the layers over time, is significantly more attractive than a woman who lays it all out there. When you feel that you are worthy, you don 8767 t need to tell people…they just know. A big mistake insecure women make in the early stages of dating is selling themselves to a guy. This can be completely innocent, but it comes from a deeper sense of insecurity and inadequacy. Confident women don 8767 t need to sell themselves rather, they use dating as a means to determine which guys are worthy of their time and affection.
This is why women should date several men at once. You do not have to be perfect-looking to do this. Date several men at once even the ones you don 8767 t think you 8767 d be that into. You 8767 ll have fun getting out on dates, getting to know new people, and being flattered by eager suitors. This will allow you to decide, on your terms, who gets to move to the next level, instead of desperately hoping the one guy you 8767 re seeing will fall in love with you and ruin the whole thing with your reek of desperation. Good luck, ladies. This stuff can be tough!
I’m not suggesting that confident women wear pajamas on dates (although if that’s your thing, OWN it. You might just find your PJs-loving soul mate). But they do wear clothes that make them feel confident, good about themselves, and comfortable in their own skin. They don’t feel pressured to conform to a random ideal of women on dates should look like, and instead wear whatever makes them happy.
6. Confident women accept responsibility.
Confident people accept responsibility for their actions and emotions. They don 8767 t blame or shame their partners if they feel unhappy and don 8767 t accuse him of 8775 making 8776 them feel a certain way. They don 8767 t blame men for being jerks and they don 8767 t view themselves as the victims of other people and circumstances.
5. She’s got her own professional goals that are not dependent on anyone else. If she’s got an early morning meeting that she’s preparing for, she won’t stay out with you all night. She’s not playing games – she’s got her priorities straight. She’s also not going to base her career decisions on anyone else but herself, not until she’s married or has a good reason to incorporate another person into changing her plans. She didn’t go to college to get her MRS.
And here 8767 s the surprising truth: this show of confidence is exactly that a show. A man can sense pretense right away, and it can prevent you from truly connecting with his heart which can then be a hit to your self-esteem. Think about it: do you connect more with someone who acts like she has her life totally together and is perfect, or with a friend who isn 8767 t afraid to bare her soul to you and show you she 8767 s human just like you?
When it comes to dating, even the most confident people can find themselves feeling insecure, anxious abut random questions that run the gamut from “Do you like me?” to “What the hell do I have stuck in my teeth?” It doesn’t help that dating has a unique capacity to shred one’s self-esteem, and if you’ve been burned before it can be hard to put yourself out there. But we can all take a page from the confident women of the world who approach the dating scene as they do the rest of life: with a bit of courage, strong sense of self worth, and a healthy dose of humor.
Being confident doesn’t mean that you never feel unsure of yourself, nor does it mean that you have to be hyper-aggressive in pursuing what you want. It means that you know who you are and are unapologetic about it you have enough faith in yourself to know that you can handle awkward or embarrassing situations and you feel secure enough in your own desires to pursue them. All of that is easier said than done, of course, but confidence isn’t an “either/or” thing — we can all strive to have a little bit more of it, one date at a time.
In running a site like A New Mode, we need to speak to the burning question that a reader has when they 8767 re in pain. It 8767 s not that we 8767 re looking to teach people how to play 8775 emotional detective 8776 better it 8767 s that if someone is clicking on this or that article, we know where their head is at and we know how we can help them get out of pain and on a path that will lead them to clarity, happiness and peace.
9. You’re never expected to financially support her. She’d feel uncomfortable about it, especially when you first start dating. She’ll certainly appreciate when you pick up the tab, but only because it comes with no strings attached and it’s a gesture of kindness. She’s got her own means to make money – that desire to be financially independent was instilled in her a long time ago.
5. Play up your best features. If you know that you have beautiful green eyes, bring them out with a touch of purple eyeliner or by wearing accents of dark grey, purple or green to make your green eyes pop. If you’re lucky enough to have long, thick hair you can play up your confidence by being outgoing with your hairstyle (hint: try a fishtail braid). If you have a nice butt, wear something that accentuates it. Knowing what your best features are and researching exactly how to play up those features will definitely help you feel more confident.
Thanks Maria, I think my low self esteem is to do with the fear of people judging me like you said. I hate feeling this way but I can 8767 t help it. I 8767 m 75 and I just hope I can grow out of this because it 8767 s so silly. Every time I do something that causes me anxiety I just say to myself 8775 What are you afraid of? 8776 and the answer is usually something ridiculous and i try to shrug it off 🙂
Excellent advice. Hit home for me. In a nutshell, and ex from 75 yrs ago moved in next door the same day I did, sparks flew like they did 75 yrs ago we started dating again. Been hot and cold more hot than cold. Hes getting over a fwb who he developed feelings for so its been an experience and through this I definately learned some real important issues about myself and this website has really helped me understand that even though I believe Im doing the right things that im actually sabotaging and if you can find that confidence the rejection does not have to be painful. Water off a ducks back. Thanks