Posted: 2017-11-14 11:13
In that case I apologise, I 8767 d forgotten I 8767 d made the comment about OLD as, for whatever reason, it isn 8767 t appearing on my screen. For what its worth I stand by that comment 655%. The sooner online dating is no longer pitched as some great alternative to meeting people the old fashioned face to face way, the better. Fake profiles, people on there simply to feed their ego by getting compliments, zombie profiles, catfish accounts they serve only as an experiment in how to create a socially accepted get rich quick scheme for their creators. At least apps like Tinder are unashamedly honest about their intentions.
Thank you for sharing. We came across your article in an attempt to handle my son 8767 s crazy girlfriend,meeting for the first time,after she made our family vacation a nightmare. Our hope in sharing this information with him after he dumped the crazy one, we realized he needed a warning check list in order to avoid this type of girl in the future. You information was spot on. We found out from him that this crazy one had more than 8/9 of the 55 things you listed. Thank you so much this information saved my son. Signed a very grateful mom
Yeah, I don t really think that this one is going to have as much of a punch with women generally as the set up implies it will. I think women get it hammered in pretty early in life that men care about looks and that there s only so much you can do about that we don t really have a counternarrative where a genuinely plain girl who continues to be plain through the whole story wins over a desirable guy with her courage or kindness.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Presence is extremely important to perceived height. Assertive, forward, confident people will seem taller kind of the inverse of the height = power idea mentioned in the article. Like your lecturer there, I m a lady of not impressive height 5 9 but every friend I have, off the cuff, has at some point told me I look like I m about 5 8 or so. Men I date tend to imagine me as the same height as them. It s all about how you carry yourself, unless you re standing right up against someone s chest so they *have* to look down at you. Learn to project your voice, adopt a more powerful stance, don t shrink like a wallflower, and don t think everyone thinks you re short. Think tall. People will see you as tall. You can leverage culture to your advantage if you don t write yourself off at the start!
I mean is it the end of the world to have sex when you don t totally feel like it?
There are all kinds of sex, aren t there?
Comfort sex, tender sex, relief sex, I m not in the mood, but you are let s
face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, why shouldn t it be
your annoying traits? I m no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction
so at least I can find the beach, but that s not a criticism of you, it s just a strength of mine.
I do wonder if this means the same thing to everyone. Like, I always thought of the term chemistry as referring to a certain spark in the way two people interact (Hepburn/Tracy banter, for example), but more and more dating articles seem to be using it with the simpler connotation of I need to be able to look at this person and instantly go OMG HAWT or it will never ever happen ever. I dunno, maybe I m projecting, but I also wonder if that s what some people mean when they say you can t help who you re attracted to.
Honestly, I m less than convinced that attraction and charisma are the same thing or related but if you are short and you ve noticed it s a problem for you, the advice of developing presence is good. It s not magic but you may as well work on it. Drama classes might be a good idea. Regardless of what I think is and isn t a barrier for me in my own life, I know my training in amateur and professional theatre helps me in life. I am not the dancing monkey but I know how to perform. I have a good sense of humour (I ve written other people s stand up routines and a comic play) and have been described as being witty and having a quick wit. It doesn t do what I d perhaps like it to but these qualities do at least help me make friends with people and open up the social circle a bit.
It s true I prefer someone within ~6 inches of my height, but it wouldn t matter whether taller or shorter (now Me was admittedly more insecure about appearances, but probably not to the point where my worries over what people would think couldn t have been overcome). The one lingering concern I d have if I were the taller one would be: Is he going to get weird and insecure about it somewhere down the line? Which ties back to the article, especially point #5 if I m convinced the guy is okay with it, then I will be okay with it.
And you know, I m just one woman. Obviously a lot of women are going to find the personality I just described annoying as fuck. But I do think it s useful for shorter guys to remember that women are not just carrying cultural notions of what s attractive into an interaction they re also carrying their own personal (sometimes very idiosyncratic) experiences in with them. Example: If I meet a short guy with dark hair, I m already predisposed to put him in the same box with this group of short guys I liked and found attractive, even if his personality runs quieter and less forceful. I think it s unnecessarily unkind to himself and overall unproductive if a short guy assumes the only possible association any given woman could have with his height is negative.
His son replies, Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your pants off, you said, Lady, leave me alone, I m married !
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would
need his wife to wake him at am for an early morning business flight to Chicago.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,
Please wake me at am.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was , and that he
had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn t
woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. it said. It is wake up.
I ve known people who can fake confidence up until something unexpected happens and it all falls apart and they are unable to recover. Myself personally, I can t help but here a voice in my head telling me to stop lying to people about it. I think personally my issue is more related to self worth than confidence, but I ve always had an issue with the fake it till you make it mentality, primarily because I ve never been able to fake it. I either have it or I don t.
I m 5 66 and my friend is 5 7 and I know his height bothers him because he uses online dating sites like I do and brings up the topic of height sometimes. He thinks girls only want guys who are 6 5 and taller and he shouldn t have that mindset. I have read that 6 5 is the best height for men on dating sites so I do exaggerate my height by 6 inch to say that I m 6 5. With shoes on I am 6 5 so girls will never notice it.
Louisa May Alcott
A house needs a grandma in it.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
Grandparents, like heroes, are as necessary to a child s growth as vitamins.
Sure but if you note the actual components of said personality (the passion, the humor, and the knowing where they stood on a lot of issues) they were all very positive qualities, just... dialed up to eleven. They definitely all had their insecurities (and at least two of them told me they felt weird about being short) but the fact that they were so goddamn happy and enthusiastic to exist as themselves made these guys energizing to be around. ((Side note: I think it can be hard to find the line between confident and arrogant. For me, that line was that these guys seemed sure that they were occupying their own lives and decisions the best possible way, that their interests and values were worthwhile and worthy, but they had no problem with questioning their own assumptions of what was best when it came to other people s lives and choices.))
And yeah. What s up with the rude responses? I have to say, I read the #okcupid on tumblr sometimes and while yes there are truly horrific things that men say to women (mostly women post their experiences on Tumblr) sometimes I read their responses to guys and I m, Uh... no I think this guy was actually being sincerely nice and you just treated him the way you d treat an a**hole. I mean, and these aren t particularly bad, just kind of rude and dismissive. Hearing about the personal insults is just mind boggling. Who thinks that s an appropriate response to anyone ever? It s just. Ugh. And I m really sorry you went through that.
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he
said, I ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said
that I don t care and that I m insensitive. So, I wish that I could
understand women..know how they feel inside and what they re thinking
when they give me the silent treatment..know why they re crying, know
what they really want when they say nothing..know how to make them truly happy..
Those hang-ups men have about height and it 8767 s connection to masculinity? Women have absorbed them as well. Men aren 8767 t the only people who 8767 ve had those toxic messages about what makes a 8775 real 8776 man and strict gender-roles drilled into them, after all. The idea that men must be taller than women towering, even is born out of the idea of 8775 man as protector 8776 and 8775 women as protected 8776 . Just as many men get uncomfortable with women flouting gender roles by approaching , they get equally uncomfortable at the idea that a woman is somehow more powerful than he is.
But what about artificial height-extenders such as boots or lifts? I 8767 m not in favor of them to be perfectly honest. I had a pair of New Rock boots that made me a good three inches taller which felt amazing. But at the same time well, those shoes had to come off eventually and the women noticed that suddenly I was at boob-level instead of eye-level. A subtle lift one inch or less can be a confidence booster but honestly, it 8767 s just a shoe-version of Dumbo 8767 s magic feather.
I wasn t referring so much to online. I guess I was wondering why DNL says to avoid online dating. I guess I just don t understand why it would be different than real life. Like I have pretty loose preferences and wide range of what I consider attractive. I just don t see that become more strict online. To be honest I haven t ever tried online dating, so that might be why I m having trouble understanding.
I think it can also be useful as a tool to get yourself doing things that you wouldn t otherwise do. If you pretend you re confident, and that gets you talking to people, doing public speaking, dancing in public or whatever else lack of confidence has kept you from doing, that can be valuable in itself. Even if the confidence was fake, the things you do while pretending are real.