Posted: 2017-09-11 11:14
The holiday season is upon us, which means that many of you will be going to a bunch of holiday parties. This is an excellent time to get out and make new friends. And by friends, I mean people you 8767 d want to date. If you don 8767 t believe me that December is the best month to meet people, believe the US Census Bureau: the most babies are born in August, followed by September and July. Which means that people were engaging in lineage-perpetuating activities nine months before, which brings us to ah yes, December and November.
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that's not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
The talk is brand new with material I 8767 ve never published before, drawing upon the Tao of Dating books for men and women, 69 years studying love lives, and answering over 5555 letters. I 8767 ll be talking about some uneasy truths that I hope will enlighten and challenge your view of the world. Note that if you are a guy and/or voted for the disrespectful guy, this talk will probably be tough to take.
In all reality, the odds are FAR better to actually meet someone at a bar, as much as we say we hate it. Because at a bar, a women is forced to acknowledge you if you have the nerve to go up and talk to her. Sure, she can still dismiss you and shut you down (or worse embarrass you). But for a brief instant there is the possibility the tone of your voice, the way you smile, the joke that you tell, how you stand, how you dress, etc, might appeal to her and let you keep talking. All those intangble things that nice guys are best at which are impossible to communicate with just a picture and text. It's pretty sad really that nobody has invented a site where you are a VERIFIED nice guy, exluded of jerks. A safe place where women can go. Women who also are VERIFIED to be looking for what they say they are.
And no, I will not let a guy spend my weekend with my kid with us - not until I've gotten to know him properly and we've been seeing each other for a while. It's to protect my child from getting instantly attached if there is no intention of commitment, and also just in case he is a deviant who preys on single mothers to get to their children. It happens, so I am very cautious. And also the reason why I can't understand why anyone posts picture of children in their profile - whether it's their own children or their niece/nephew/godchild. Dating sites are full of perverts. Keep children's pictures off them. (Sorry, that was going off the topic).
You’ll enjoy 79/7 unrestricted access to our live chat rooms services as well as browsing and connecting with singles via our vast pool of members. Free dating sites are part and parcel nowadays of how both and mature age men and women meet. Dating sites create an easy path to find suitable singles although not all dating sites in Australia are equal. Our model for connecting Aussie singles is focused on fun, easy to use features, powerful and modern systems to easily connect you seamlessly through processes that you get to choose.
I dated a Liberal woman and no conflicts arose from our political differences. I find it troubling you wouldn't even want to be friends with someone who would vote for Trump, or even someone who wouldn't be friends with another who voted for Hillary. You sound grossly intolerant of other people's views. You should be open to people with differing views than your own, otherwise you will fall into engaging in groupthink and confirmation bias. In other words, you will not learn much in this world seeking out people who will just agree and affirm your opinions on life. You grow by seeking those out who can show you a different perspective. In my experience, I've found people like you frustrating to say the least.
Chris - which ones have you tried? I had a friend who had terrible luck as well. He tried E-harmony and was successful. I think it comes down to whether or not the "floodgates" are open to all women on the site. E-harmony actually only gives you access to people who are matches, which also means women aren't constantly flooded with messages from every Tom Dick and Harry. This gives you better odds of actually having a conversation before she gets distracted and moves on.
I never go for 9"s, or 65's. Usually, they have issues. They know their "hot". I, one time met a above average looking woman and she ended up being a compulsive liar and had other issues. Another one used guys for their money. I'm older 56 and go never go for any women below 99. It appears that you women want tall, dark, handsome CEO types of men, or looking for Brad Pitts's of the world needs to get realistic. Also, I notice the shorter the woman are like 5'5" are wanting these 5'8 tall or taller guys to feel "protected" are overlooking us shorter guys who can make them feel secure and protected. I was a successful wrestler and coach. And can provide that.
So we are left with a very complicated answer to what seems like a reasonably simple question. Unfortunately we are dealing with complex systems based upon an unequal distribution of wealth, power and knowledge. My explanation is quite limited in its scope but explains the answer as I see it. Unfortunately the answer I've given also infers similar issues with offline dating as ultimately this has little to do with the internet and more to do with society.
I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.
To clarify - we women aren’t going through our lives thinking, “Poor me, I’m so afraid of men!” Or, “all men are murderers and rapists,” either. It’s just a fact of life that is so absolutely ingrained in us from Day One that it becomes a subconscious part of our DNA. So please, try to remember things beyond your own paradigm. We will do the same for you. ? (At least the “nice, good” and worthwhile of we women will).
The internet is the number one reason for the rise of sexism on the modern age. Women see men for what they are and vice versa. Women ignore most men and clump them all together as pathetic or creeps in broad generalizations and only go for the male model looking profiles. Result is good looking men with professional grade photos and the women willing to have casual sex with them are the only ones getting what they want. Meanwhile other women despise that, the ones that arent interested in casual sex. They see the guys they would want to be with acting like apes because they get an all you can eat buffet while simultaneously ignoring men they could have chemistry with, because meeting people in person is very different from online.
I know I am not the only guy to have a girl turn me down with hurtful comments after leading you on and thinking you should have just realized she was not interested and gave up. Thing is you couldn't "take a hint", but we are adults here and those are games kids play. No need for hints, you can be nice and find a more reasonable time to let a guy down, but don't wait weeks and then get angry with him because you never made your intentions clear. Because the girls don't realize, its not that obvious for the guy to see she is trying to put off signals that she lacks interest. We will, in even the more extreme cases, often focus on the few positive over the negatives to keep up our optimism, until its written out in plain english to us, "I flattered, but no thank you." Its easy, just text that and don't worry, even if you look like Anna Kendricks the guy is unliekly to hang himself over the news.
First off it is important to recognize that those in positions of prestige will seek to maintain their position and furthermore will seek to promote the inclusion of their offspring into similar positions. Secondly our education system isn't so much a system of learning as it is a system of training. For our society to function we require managers and workers. If our education system really sought to equalize knowledge our current system would cease to exist. Instead our education system is designed to separate gifted from normal students as potential managers versus the working class.
For example, I learned to not judge a rising emotion or thought – just to see it as neutral energy. If all thoughts and actions are only energy, neither positive nor negative, I can transmute it. I can remove the negative element, and just use the energy. If an unsettling thought would arise, I would ask myself, what can I do other than sit here or numb out through work or busyness or sex or distraction? What can I do to not numb out, to really feel and then leverage the emotion? Can I channel it into awareness, creative force, or even just let it pass through me?
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person &ndash you&rsquo d probably have 9 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night.
As to the creepy responses. Some may be legit creepy but a lot of them are jaded men who know that writing a well thought out response is an utter waste of time for them, especially older men. That said the older men are just living in denial about the reality the women by in large do not want them all. Same for older gay men. Yes it's partly ageism "Ewww he could be my father". But that's because they are an don't understand that really what would you talk about, you pop culture connections would be so out of date for them (unless you luck out with an old soul). Also another reason for short messages is because guys HAVE ALWAYS by in large done it short and sweet. Think about the cheesy pick up lines or conversation starters at a bar. They are not deep probing question that want to know more about why you are in medieval crossbow shooting.
I am so glad to have found your site. Online dating has always been 8775 against my religion 8776 ha, ha. Sometimes our circles can become so small that I 8767 ve just recently decided to do some research into it seems so uuuggghhh! While reading all this serious stuff I cracked up when I read your 8775 prayer room 8776 comment in your 8766 Where 8767 s the easy button 8776 article love the humor!
Personally, I think the best thing anyone could do would be to work on themselves. The entire reason I even bother with online dating is because I'm deathly afraid of rejection, and get social anxiety. Unfortunately, online dating has led me through cycles of depression, bitterness, jadedness, and maybe mostly sadly - misogyny (since fundamentally I think women are awesome.) But on all levels.. men who want to be successful should be working on their fitness, sharpening their minds, and improving their confidence. Online dating could be a tool for self-improvement, if you let it. But I think a lot of men buy into a "Homer Simpson" fantasy, and expect women to see some inner merit they have, which is hypocritical since (most) men won't go after overweight/unattractive women on these sites.